Howmanheyman

No invite for me? Fuck that, admin, delete my account ya pack of geeks!

Missed this. Dr Stevie spotting the symptoms straight away.

err, thanks, Stevie. Crocodile shoeeeeessssssss!!!

Will he have sacked his helicopter off by then?

A long, long time ago I can still remember when he said he was from Blyth And Fish knew if he had a chance Stevie say 'Y'knaa the dance' And maybe they'd be happy for a while But February made Fishy shiver With every post that he'd deliver Stevie's on the doorstep Fish had to go and just watch his step I can't remember if I cried When I read about his wounded pride But something touched me deep inside The day Fishes comedy died [Chorus] So bye-bye, Seaton Sluice or was it Blyth? Wore my Blazer to the party, but Stevie'd drunk it dry And them good old boys were drinkin' meths up in Blyth Singin' "This'll be the day that I die This is a normal day up in Blyth"

Stevie said it took 7 words to find that 'relic' from six years ago. Probably took about the same number of seconds. I'd completely forgotten we'd even been interested in O'Leary if it was true. Anyway, I'm sure somebody can do the same with one of these Garde articles in six years time.

Next manager, well, as much chance as Monsieur Garde.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/newcastle-united/6024208/Newcastles-talks-with-David-OLeary-break-down.html

He's an improvement on Pardew, finished higher than Pardew, managed in CL unlike Pardew, would be proof the club is always looking to progress. /Club spin

He probably emerged from his mother's vagina, winked at the midwife and told his mam that 'we was fantastic today'.

The football league forced the club to close the corner for a couple of games after the amount of stuff threw at Gazza and anyone brave enough to take a corner. Was going great as well, the game that is, actually felt a bit sorry for later on, looked like he was genuinely upset he was getting called whereas the likes of Waddle didn't give a fuck.

Stevie don't hurt him, don't hurt him, Neymar.

Look at the clip of them, especially the middle four.

That was my first away game. Was almost 15 and had to tell a few porkies to get there.

Aye, they were paid for by selling Gazza, Goddard and an improved Neil Mcdonald. We finished 8th, sold on Gazza and co, bought these and finished 20th.

Well done! Hope it turns out ok.

The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half. 23/03/2015 What a day ah had today, diary. Ah got into the Thomson House nerve centre a bit late as the fucking Metees were running late again, (at least that's what ah telt everyone when ah got in as ah didn't think they'd be too sympathetic hearing aboot me marathon session ah had yesterday at the club). Anyway, there was cleaners ah'll ower the shop which was weird as they're usually well gone by the time ah get there. Ah asks Cams who was walking past what was going on? Was the Queen coming to visit or what? "Better than that , mate. Simon Fox is paying an unexpected visit that one of the advertising girls overheard on a shopping trip to London on the weekend. Everyone's flapping, Lee!" Wow! Simon Fox! The CEO of Trinity Mirror was trying to pay a sneaky visit, eh? Fucking magic! Why magic, diary? Well while the Thomson House highrark, heirck, err, chiefs were touching cloth about him coming the boy Ryder thinks in different ways to the rest of them and it was time to put my latest book, 'Networking - Your way to success' to the test. Ah hung about in the background as Foxy came in the building making small talk to all and sundry. You couldn't get moved near him as it was a plevara, pleferr, err, horde of arselickers surrounding him and they were getting to the same place as Gabby Obertan does when he starts one of his 40 yard runs.......absolutely fucking neewhere, that's where! Nah, Ah let's them get on with it, biding me time as ah stood by the work bogs waiting for the moment ah knew was coming. Me networking book said the netty was a great place to network, it was quiet, it was private and you could start networking while washing your hands, so Ryder was onto it quicker than SuperMac chasing after a Terry Hibbitt through-ball. Anyway, as sure as eggs are eggs and Carver is a Geordie, Foxy started to go a funny colour and mentioned he was off 'To the little boys room.' as he put it. Ah followed him in after twenty seconds but when ah got in the urinals were empty and ah could see the trap one door shutting! Foxy was having a shite! Ah thought ah cannit hang aboot washing me hands for ten minutes so ah went into trap two pretending to have a shite as ah waited for Foxy to curl one oot. Anyway ah'd barely sat doon when the great man called out to me, "Hi! you alright?" Fucking hell! He was talking already and ah hadn't even spoken to him yet and he hadn't even seen me! He must've seen me coming in but ah never realised! Obviously ah'd been pointed out to him by the editor or Gibbo and he was wanting a bit craic with one of his star talents. Anyways, ah answered back, "Aye, Simon, ah'm fucking canny, mate." There was a bit of a pause before he carried on talking. He said, "So what are you up to? Busy?" Ah thought to meself, 'What does he think ah'm up to?' but just answered, "Err, y'knaa, Simon, just having a shite like you, mate." Just then ah realised that there'd been no 'plop' noises, no fart noises or owt ike that so ah thought on me feet and made a few 'NNNnnnnnn, Nnnnnnnnnnn!' sounds as if ah was straining to get a rock oot me arse, just so's Foxy wouldn't get suspish, suspiceio, err, so he wouldn't think ah was pretending. Again the great man paused a bit and then said, "Darling, can I phone you back, there's a lunatic sitting in the next toilet trying to talk to me." Fucking hell! He was talking to their lass on his phone ah'll along!! Ah thought ah'd fucking blown it now, like, so ah quickly pulled up me strides and rushed oot of trap two, ah quickly turned the tap on, so Foxy could hear water running, quickly pushed the hot air button on the dryer and got the fuck out! Ah lost me networking chance through breaking Ryder's number one rule, 'Divvent listen to nee fucker, do it my way or nee way." It hadn't let me down so far unlike some fucking poncy book written by a speccy cockney fucking nerd, so ah laughed, shrugged me shoulders and thought that next time it'll be the Knight Ryder calling the shots! Lol. Laters!

This game was was part one of previously mentioned pal getting a home & away howking from some Grimsby fans, the return chinning coming outside where Gotham is now when Dobbin ended our 100% record.

The whole end behind the goal? All of it had seats above the terracing? Mad if true because I've been down there twice around this time and just can't remember it. I'm always arguing with my pal about what was where in grounds including SJP so I'll bow down to your memory as mine was addled with alcohol around then.

It was Cunnington who scored, I missed it as I was just getting in, but he did play for the Mackems the next season. Can't remember there being seats behind us, mind, but I've been wrong before. Think we were in a bar called 'The Submarine' before the game which was well named as it was a right fucking dive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRRD9y1mGGU Anyone else on here who was behind that goal when Sheedy scored? Not sure if this was the game where overcrowding outside and limited turnstiles lead to a crush where some gates were burst open and everyone just swarmed in? P.S. How the fuck was that second goal disallowed?

I'll let Lee Ryder give you the low down. http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/alan-pardews-newcastle-united-regrets-8894598? (Exclusively brought to you by Lee's Sky subscription).