Howmanheyman

'I'm a massive lads fan and so are you, fancy coming round for some classy sex? FTM'

'Hey marra-etta, fancy coming over for some bong and playing hide the sausage?'

'Netflix and chill' Fuck sake, man. "Don't have Netflix, used kodi instead".

Spill the beans, then.

OK.

Thought he'd retired when he left Chelsea.

Utter bilge blaming the fans for anything, back in the day a smaller ground with less fans in but more vociferous supporters could destroy a players confidence. That doesn't happen to the same extent anymore and anyway, one week we're too demanding, the next we're too nervous etc, not for the first time, poltroon pardew living up to his reputation as an arch talker of shite.

Can you put a few more photos up, CT? I'm not sure there's enough on for me to visualise your cooking.

It comes with age and life experience.

There you go, Haydnator, knock one, err, I mean, knock yourself out.

Was getting worried about you, Zanetti.

Was talking about this last night as well and more or less said the same as you.

Read somewhere that he was found in a quiet lane and had been jogging. They don't know how long he was there. Hope that's wrong as it won't have helped him if he'd been lying there a while.

Met him when he'd just signed, lovely kid. Hope he's OK.

Surely your first answer would be 'where's that, again?' If you hadn't a clue rather than, 'nuke the sons of bitches' or words to that affect.

Same things most 15 year olds are into.

Feelies, feelies, nee putties in.

Remember that taxi rank 'encounter' Gemmill had with an old drunken colleague about nine years ago? Errr......Think he needs to give her a bell about some backdated money he owes her.

Gets dropped off in wallsend to 'get a couple cards', (her words), I then open the text she sent me with instructions: "Birthday cards... Someone special (not dad) & Granda. Christmas cards... 1x Wife. 2 x daughter. 2 x mam n dad. 1 x granny and Granda. 1 x grandma and Granda. 3 x sister 3 x auntie" Jesus Christ, man. I'm a bit hungover as well!

Going out to do some finishing off for Christmas bits and bobs, it was planned with missus yesterday but I also went out last night. I'm not ill but am absolutely fucked, here like. I daren't say a thing as I'm already getting 'I told you so' looks.

All the best!

CT was too busy trudging to SJP or travelling the country with Jackie Charlton's black & white army to have noticed McGuigan's dad doing his clurb singer turn on the mic.

Yes, he spilled his guts out about what he and Clay would get up to with their groupies. Haven't boxers minced their way into the ring with music for years? The only difference is that it's live. The difference with football is the national anthems used to be piped music where the fans could sing along and it sometimes gets spoiled now with 'opera' singers drowning the crowd out on a microphone which is a bit shit. Piped music after a goal isn't really relevant to this and is an abomination reserved for the likes of that cretin on the football thread 'singing' about Mourinho and all the other knackers who never 'trudged through the eighties'.

They have carte blanche to whinge their tits off, in fact it must be encouraged otherwise their stations wouldn't have a show. Everyone else should be grateful for mediocrity or worse.

Well watch it somewhere else then?