Howmanheyman

Thought he drank in t'Woolpack?

And it's 'mala'. One 'L'.

He likes to keep his personal, non-famous friends out of the goldfish bowl spotlight that is his crazy world.

"Ah'd like to thank me mentor, Olly, Gibbo, and also fellow toon footsoldier, Steve Wraith. We've had wu differences but ah'd still want him with iz in the trenches or Elland Road."

If the club had mistreated him it's understandable, otherwise he's a full-on cockney wanker. When he's bragging of fleecing the club he's also bragging of fleecing the supporters IMO.

@@Renton Game of thrones

Might not be as well.

Not the first time you've been sold a pup, I'd guess.

All he wanted to do was to come on here to talk about his favourite TV show, I mean, isn't this what forums are for?

There's a lack of coherent strategy at the club, some of the things they do in isolation aren't that bad but in the bigger picture are a fucking disaster. You can't pin it down to a particular time other than the rolling timescale of non/wrong decisions at the top level. It's a lack of care and a spectacularly arrogant delusion that everything they do is right until a year down the line when they apologise for mistakes made 'in the past' before making the same mistakes all over again.

Watched American Hustle last night. Amy Adams played a cracking part.

Yes, he drives down to the East Midlands in his spare time to do JUST THAT VERY THING.

Should've got something else cheaper, called it 'Spike' and just pretended it was a bulldog.

They need to sort that shit 'spurs go marching in' song sung soooooo sloooooowwwlllllyyyyyy. It's absolutely fucking painful.

You'll all be staggered to see the Knight's take on this.

Some of the slam dunk penalties that haven't been given in our favour in the past then you see the likes of that, Mbembas and the one against Leicester at spurs. Mental.

You win the best shared birthday with someone famous award.

Pet wars!!!!

FMP

Biggest club to get relegated.

Happy birthday to the Messiah, BTW.

The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half 13/02/2016 "Hey! Hey, Son! Hey! Cloth lugs!" "Wha, what? Are yee talking to me, Mr Oliver?" "Is there any other daft looking young'un in here with cloth lugs?" "Err, Ah divven knaa, Mr Oliver." "Ha'way, Marra, it's dinner time, let's go for some proper scran, Lee, son." "Err, cush, Mr Oliver! That sounds great!" Alreet, Diary? Ah was just trying to work out a 'five burning questions' piece for today's Ronald Gill esq and staring hard at me work PC when I noticed someone staring at iz from ower the way. It was the new kid on the block, young Chris Waugh. Ah looked up and he quickly put his heed doon. Ah understood straight away. The kid was in orr, ore, err, was a bit starstruck to be working with the Trinity Mirror sports regional sports writer of the year and former toon army foot soldier, Lee Ryder. Ah also think he was shiting it a bit after a gave him a dressing doon when he first started. Ah smiled to mesel and remembered a good looking young blonde kid bonding with his mentor in these same hallowed offices a few years ago. Ah sat back in me chair and folded me arms and shouted ower at the kid, "How! Young'un! me belly thinks me throat's cut!" The kid looked up and said, "I'm sorry?" Ah replied, "Yi fuckin' will be if yi hold iz up any more! Ah said i'm Hank Marvin! Do you want to go out and get some scran?" The kid could barely contain his excitement as he told me his Mam had already knocked his bait up. Ah then gave him the Ryder glare and asked again and he went white faced and said he'd love to. As we got outside ah headed up the bigg Market and young Woffy said, "Hey, Lee, I could kill for a steak and cheese Sub from subway, they're mint!". Ah stopped in me tracks and telt him straight, "Woffy, young Woffy. You're writing for a Tyneside institution here, mind. Fuck that subway shite, ah'm tekking you for some proper Geordie scran from the Grainger Market, some proper soup. Fuck that Yank shite!" He said ah was the boss and we went on our way to the Grainger Market just as a certain mentor of a certain up and coming young journalist once did with his protege. "Aye, Woffy, this is the food of the Geordie gods this soup ah......What the Fuck?!!" ah interrupted mesel as ah clocked a kids twitter food on his phone. The kid's twitter said that ah'd anny gone and scooped ANOTHER prestijus, presteegas, err, important gong! Ah asked the kid if ah could have a proper look and some internet PR company called Aberfield had just cottoned on to what the whole of the North East and Trinity Mirror group already knew, which was that Lee Ryder, the Knight of the bigg Market, the former toon army foot soldier, the journalist with his pulse on the United beat, was the one the punters went looking for when they wanted some shit hot NUFC craic such as me piece yesterday about Stcheve's BIG decision whether to play Gini at Stamford Bridge or my usual red hot BURNING questions that needed asking about club on the hill. Ah showed the boy who could only dream about being King the phone and said, "There yi gan, Woffy! See that? That's what eating Yank shite DOESN'T get you!" Ah then dipped a bit stottie in Woffy's soup and jammed it in his gob, winked and telt him we had time for a quick celebratory pint in the Clock, {as you do, like!) Lol. Ryder and fucking out!!

I detest arsenal, absolutely detest the whining set of wankers, real, real amnesia from them, one of the slyest, dirtiest set of players to get away with murder, a bang average side when I was a kid, arsenal 0-1 NUFC, 19,000 at Highbury, Dixon and co on Ginola hatchet job, Henry moaning his tits off, multi fouls-no bookings, whining their tits off when the ref forgets he has to abide by arsenal rules, whining their tits off at Wenger, whining their tits off they didn't win anything for a few years, that absolute abortion of a tale about middle class wankers being a real football fan story, (cannot even remember the book/film name) by Hornsby? (Preferred the toy trains). Complete set of classic cockney wankers, says it all I prefer spurs over these.

Has he moved since you last stalked him?