Howmanheyman

A Muslim, a Jew and a Roman Catholic walk into a bar, the barman says, "What a fantastic example of a harmonious, multi cultural society."

Next England manager after Gaweth?

Certain professions you must know you'll hit a shift on Christmas day every now and then.

27 years old, man.

Well said, Robert.

Think his brother was a male stripper. Little fucker hung like a donkey apparently. Agree about young divvies taking videos of the bloke.

27? I bet his cock is bright orange what with all the cheesey wotsits he must eat.

'Secret Santa'

I think his is in the context of taking the piss?

I think that's kind of his point?

Happy birthday from Lee Ryder's Mam.

He's always in Wallsend.

Still haunted by getting the hook for Ginola and not playing for Keegan's team. He looks at his old team photos and he sees himself in a black & white adidas grandad collar shirt with the brown ale sponsor, Les Ferdinand to his left, Peter Beardsley to his right, Kevin Keegan sitting in front of him, then the mist/tears clear and he's looking at himself in a fucking manky 'nutmeg' Palace shirt with TDK on it, surrounded by Ian Dowie and Richard Shaw with his manager Alan Smith sitting at the front. He wipes away a tear, let's a long sigh out and tweets about voting for Brexit/Trump etc.

Whale spunk has the viscosity of clear water compared to the thickness of half of their lot, tbf.

Were England playing? :lol:

I think I preferred the Yerksha knackas to the leeds fish doppelganger. What do you think, 'guys'?

Fuck you, Howay, with your USA based posts!

Done.

13th November Well, diary, ah'm a modern man a thinker, ah knaa the futures ahll blogs and video diaries, of course ah know me traditional puntas lap me match reports up like me mutha's dog, 'Peter Haddock', laps up it's own precious bah'lls, but sometimes you need a bit of tradition if yi knaa what ah mean? A bit of Adam and Eve instead of Adam and Steve. Ah wiz round me mam's hoose for me tea after writing up another nufc blockbuster report about the story on everyone lips at the Seaton Sluice social club free style pool tournament between, me, me cousin Johnny ten kids and me old pal, cockeyed Mala, namely the story of should NUFC bring back joey Barton. Anyways, after ah'd got to me mam's ah noticed she looked tired, she felt iz that the new people next door were Clark Kent! And she wasn't talking aboot Superman, either! Ah'm a live and let live bloke but ah couldn't have two puffs keeping me auld dear up with their best of Eurovision CD collection so ah thought ah'd put them in the picture of whose mother's house they had moved next door to. Ah knocks and this lad with a crew cut answers. "Alreet? Ah knaa you probably divven like football, but ah'm Lee Ryder, Trinity Mirror regional sports journalist of the year, and me mam lives next door, can you keep the noise down? Ah wouldn't want to do something ah'll regret". The kid said he was called Martin and he'd invited me mam round and the reason she had a sore heed was because she'd dusted ah'll the gin in the hoose which was left after the kid went tee total! He also said he was a Newcastle supporter so ah thought ah'd let him off seeing me ma was OK with them. I chuckled to mesel as ah walked back to me mam's at the thought of A. Him liking football. B. Me mam dancing away with the gays, and C. The fact the kid didn't knaa how close he'd came to getting a Ryder knuckle sandwich from the former toon army footsoldier in his dial! Lol. Laters.

I'm a new affluent worker who is generally young. What a pile of shite although still better than the telegraph's abortion of a guide to your status, which as Alex says didn't give you enough choices. 'Metropolitan elite'. :Whey aye!

I'll incorporate it into the Ryder diaries, you can move next door to his 'fictional' folks.

It'd be quite funny if you moved next door to an older brexit couple and it was their 'home for life' and they weren't too keen on them queers.

That's about it, like.