Howmanheyman

MF now eats Yorkie bars all day since he's driving artics, I'll have to start eating spinach to have any hope?

Albert's either shuttled off this mortal coil or been sacked from his marketing/social media role.

Are you looking for a fight? (I'llook this way, you look the other way, one of us will hit lucky).

Starting a match thread for another team? Mackem like behaviour.

Great signing.

"Hello, this is the operator speaking, I'm just putting your joke back through to 1982. Thank you for calling."

There's been times when just a tabloid, made-up NUFC rumour has the sports media leading with stories of clubs and/or the PL either contemplating or actually making up new rules to prevent us from supposedly doing something yet shit like Chelsea pull just seems to fly without a peep being said? I mean, even if you disregard the official response, why do the usual sports media shit stirrers not have any kind of opinion on it?

I think it was mine but I'm not 100% sure? I definitely recognise it.

I'm sure I did it ages ago taking the piss out of them writing to all and sundry to object to the takeover? I reckon whoever does that account must've seen it and kept it? (No problem if he did?)

I'm positive I did that on here or maybe it was on twitter?

I hope Bridget has time for her constituents now she's a minister in the government....

"Ah, marras, with zis classiness you are spoiling us!"

NUFC official statement 'Newcastle United would like to put on record their thanks to Amanda Staveley and Mehrdad Ghoudousi for their input into the club. If any fans are upset, particularly in the boldon area, our doctor has recommended drinking alcohol and listening to 'A different corner' by George Michael and just letting it all out.'

It's either that or their normal alternative.... "You fucking what, mate?"

I'll get back to this thread in a minute, I'm just taking my chance to win £30,000 of cash and a chance to win a ticket for the final by phoning 0898 4242 1966 on ITV's premium number phone line. It doesn't get any better than this!

I fancied England pre-KO and they're doing ok but despite what J69 says that's never a penalty as long as I've got a hole in my arse.

You're in good company......

Gabriel Clarke's patter is very Nicholas Witchell-esque in his England ITV reports.

It's all making sense now..... Absolutely, fucking mental on there. They can all link their DNA to the great Abby Normal from Young Frankenstein.

I didn't know you'd been in the Wallsend buffs before, Rob?

@Renton Saw your post earlier just as I was going back from my break. Nothing much more I can add to what everybody else has, the drink you'll sort out in the long run, (you've already made great strides), I just hope your family see you fighting this off and the missus can come to terms with it being just a lapse in your recovery and welcome you back in. Work should support you so fuck them.

NUFC sign a lass from the mackems for the lasses team: NUFC fans: MLFs:

Jings!