Howmanheyman

Paging Alex, paging Alex.

5 things we learned from couscous-gate: 1. Cooscoos is a stable food in Morocco 2. Morocco is the country where the wolves player is from. 3. Jonjo Shelvey's song from the toon army is the old chaka khan song 'ain't nobody'. 4. I believe NUFC will appeal the 5 match ban. 5. Me Ma stayed a week there a few years ago and had the shits for the last three days. Lee Ryder.

That's the spirit.

That zapitistas is canny, mind.

I use sports mania. Cost me £26 for 6 months but it seems canny enough. I've already got BT sport through getting my broadband through them.

Mirandinha used to say 'hairy mott' to lasses back in the day and be oblivious to what he'd said. (Although that might've had something to do with Gazza).

What are you talking about? There's only Greggs up here!

CT's got to be dying to post, here, mind.

Personally think it's mental to hate a large portion of your own support but still go to games but they've always had a support who've been a carrot short of a casserole.

I used to know a Sunderland fan who hated mackems and couldn't get away from Roker park quick enough which I found extremely weird behavior but apparently he wasn't alone. Why bother I'd ask? He said he supported Sunderland and fuck them Mackem bastards.

Same as it ever fucking was as talking heads nearly said. The 83-84 promotion we almost doubled their attendances watching one genuine world class player albeit at the end of his career and two other world class emerging whilst they were bottom feeders in the old first division being ignored nationwide. Last time we went up we had a better time again with bigger crowds and more attention and it fucking KILLED them after they'd had their lolz when we went down. Saw one of them wondering why nobody travels to their ground in numbers other than big clubs and it's not hard to see why. If you're Joe Bloggs supporting Watford who has to pick and choose his away games, why the fuck are you going to want to travel all that way to a shitty industrial estate to watch the turd that will not flush? (Obviously there'll be at least one Watford fan who cracked on with a Mackem on holiday who might come up and that'll be a Watford/SAFC friendship final confirmed in the minds of one of the most clinging, needy group of supporters in the country).

Spending a tenner a day on bait is insanity. You go to work to earn money, not spend it. My only options at work are a shit canteen or an even worse vending machine. My scran hammers anything I'd get from there and is also cheaper. Even if I had a great choice I'd still go with bringing stuff in because petrol money is the only thing I'm spending going to work.

I can't believe it's even up for discussion? Who the fuck wouldn't want the option to retire early if they can? There's no chance I'll be doing my job in 20 years time, if I'm working by then it'll be some piece of piss part time job or maybe a full time role measuring the inner thighs/tits of bravissimo's models.

Think he was called Alex or Alistair.

Fucking 'bait', man! 'Packed lunch'.

I daren't ask WTF was going on there. Sounds very much a boldon shindig.

Gemmill asked the DJ to put 'outside' on by George Michael as he shimmied past the dance floor towards the bogs singing to himself, 'I think I'm done with the sofa, I think I'm done with the kitchen table baby'.

I can't be there, guaranteed win.

Obviously you can't tar them all with the same brush, but there's no doubt having heard enough of arsenal fans through the years, there's a fucking boatload of entitled, hissey fitting wankers following that club. I'm about as disillusioned as I've ever been with our support but we're still fucking light years away from the likes of these daft cunts.

I'm sure that ginger cunt fobbed it off on us as well. Last game v Leicester, 7-1?

J lo or Jessie J? Are we talking musically or something else? If it's something else, both, if music, neither.

No, but I do think it's shit.

That's what he said when phone ended up there.

People, some of whom might be in the mackem's post 92 category of NUFC supporters, are ADAMANT that local hero IS Newcastle United. I can see that, they don't know better, but to conflate nufc with local hero for those of us that remember a certain ginger moustachioed twat who called himself the flashing blade, imploring us who had been going to games when the club was in a bad place to make some noise and fobbing this shit tune on the club whilst only a couple of years prior, the same ginger cunt would be foaming if a football fan rang up his toe cringingly bad phone-in radio show, would, as I say, be to conflate the perception of NUFC and local hero being synonymous with each other rather than the reality of the Ginger scenario. (Or something like that, I had to interrupt this post to drop off my daughter, but you get my drift).

A good post by PL spoiled a little by a lack of conflating.