Howmanheyman

Don't worry, Diego, if England win I'm English, if they lose I'm Northern Irish. It's all good.

'It's always great to get a run out and at this stage of the pre-season it's more about fitness than the actual scoreline but it was gratifying being in such a close game against such a big club with obviously very good players.' The new Sunderland boss.

"Jamesh, you incredibly handshome devil, you've only grazed hish ear, a man of your outshtanding talentsh as well?"

Somebody actually died in the crowd as well as the gunman? A bit of an afterthought as this is the first I've seen this since I got up. Bad, bad news if this is legit and not some kind of stunt which looks unlikely if they've actually killed someone? Handy the gunman's been killed as well.

Must've been great night? (It took a few seconds to realise who Regis was?)

"Great bunch of lads."

FTM'dYP

I've said it before, but NUFC would be dead to me if I was in their shoes, fair enough if you happened to be watching motd and you knew we'd been hammered you might watch it but other than that I'd have us on ignore. Taking as big an interest in us now is surely not going to be doing them any good at all and we haven't even won anything. The absolute hammer blow to the gut it must've been for them when the takeover was announced after the high amusement when it kept getting delayed would've been delicious to witness in person.

I'm actually reading Nevin's book autobiography at the minute, how the fuck did he end up at Chelsea? He must be the absolute antithesis of a Chelsea fan, especially then? Comes across as a good egg anyway on the radio and the book backs that up.

"my XL top was really tight......and I'm not a fat mag." I consider myself a bit of a fat mag at the minute but I can still get into half my medium shirts no bother. Maybe that survey thing that had their supporters statistically fatter than us might've been on to something but I'm sure quite a few of their fanbase won't be too keen on experts? #shirtsizesmeanshirtsizes

"How very dare you Alexander. It's Seaton Sluice, near the Delavals, don't you know?"

Aye, my job's not as physical as it used to be. Plus once the spirit of Sutcliffe is in your system, I'm sure there's a hammer close by as an assistant.

MF now eats Yorkie bars all day since he's driving artics, I'll have to start eating spinach to have any hope?

Albert's either shuttled off this mortal coil or been sacked from his marketing/social media role.

Are you looking for a fight? (I'llook this way, you look the other way, one of us will hit lucky).

Starting a match thread for another team? Mackem like behaviour.

Great signing.

"Hello, this is the operator speaking, I'm just putting your joke back through to 1982. Thank you for calling."

There's been times when just a tabloid, made-up NUFC rumour has the sports media leading with stories of clubs and/or the PL either contemplating or actually making up new rules to prevent us from supposedly doing something yet shit like Chelsea pull just seems to fly without a peep being said? I mean, even if you disregard the official response, why do the usual sports media shit stirrers not have any kind of opinion on it?