Howmanheyman

Seriously, the temptation to speak your mind to a knacker like Johnson would surely rule most right minded people out?

Good advice and since you're a crowdfund virgin can I perhaps tempt you into cracking deal with me and my source from boldon. We're not asking for much of an initial outlay but we think it could save us £350m a week. If you're interested please send a PM to @Christmas Tree for further details.

Mr Speaker, does the right honourable member for Burnley recall paying £20 for a glorified game of tuggy running around Leeds that he shamefully boasted about on an Internet forum called 'Toontastic'? Could he not have saved that £20 and invested it towards a decent chair for his constituents to sit on on the rare occasions he actually turns up to meet them?

Has been my default position all along.

Sir Bobby signed Bramble, fwiw.

Anyone seen Michael Martin's Twitter from last night/this morning? Seems very pleased about something saying 'happy days' with loads of smiley faces and 'telt yiz' etc. Last week or so he's been a bit cryptic but for someone normally pessimistic he's been pretty confident the club will be sold well before Christmas but has tempered it with 'no saying it's a definite' type of message but that seems to have changed as of last night so I'm wondering what he's heard and from who as despite him not being everyone's cup of tea he isn't usually the type to come out with this sort of bollocks just for attention. Just saying.

Died and gone to heaven if that happened, marra.

He gets some stick but I like the poster who slags him then says posts like his are 'Maggish' and 'deluded shite' that 'they do up there'.

I was there. Queue ended at central park it was that long and I 'got off' with Sonia her of the one hit wonder of stock, Aitken and waterman stable. She paid for my drinks when I ran out of cash and bought me a kebab at the end of the night before I enjoyed a different nosh as Mickey Quinn walked a few feet from me whilst his fellow scouser got her gums rund me plumbs. Anyway, that's the shite I say whenever anyone talks about THAT night when nirvana came to town, I was all a quiver about the band I'd never heard of at that point. Amazing times.

Probably the accent that put some off, so it was. I don't mind him at all which is a big compliment these days with some of the knackers, gimps and arseholes polluting our football shows.

Aye, it's about as subtle as you'd imagine.

Not sure why, but he's more than fair when it comes to NUFC and the supporters. Heard a good show he did where he invited opinions on the NUFC/situation from his guests, heard them out then dismantled them one by one quite deftly and with facts that most other media people simply don't bother their arses to research. Also heard a podcast of his with Keith Gillespie which was a canny listen.

I'd like to humbly thank Newcastle United for the only promotions I've ever had or seen.

I honestly took Newcastle for granted till I started seeing other towns/cities. Newcastle at the very least holds its own with some and betters most. Mind, some of Europe hammers most of the UK cities I've been to.

Looked the other day and one or two were laughing at Newcastle being a 'vibrant' city.

Giving the limeys a bit of toffee, costs nowt and keeps them on board. Surprised Trump didn't fuck that simplistic thing up. (Did he fuck it up?)

The USA has a long running special relationship with the USA and the USA only. Embarrassing when you see some fucking gimp from over here, whether it's a politician or a media person talking to a Yank about the 'special relationship' in a gushing manner like Hugh Grant to some nonplussed American.

Check out @PeteDobosz’s Tweet: Not even fucking subtle now with BT/SKY and their 'super brands' and it isn't just Scottish football that gets it.

You forgot 'macron wearing'.

Willy waving before a cracking deal.

Amen, brother.

I've worked with a couple of non-mackem Sunderland fans from Gateshead and they can't wait to get away from the ground after the match as 'I can't stand the mackem bastards'. One of them had an argument after being called a Geordie bastard and chose to roll his sleeve up to show him his old Sunderland tattoo of the old crest. He used to go to loads of aways and all the homes and was sound enough, (obviously hated NUFC but wasn't a knob about it if you know what I mean?) I couldn't get my head around it even then tbh.

Fucking weirdos. Sons of Mickey Pierce from fools and horses with their pork pie hats. Saw a few of them in the centurion a few years ago, no colours, didn't hear them speak but knew straight away who they supported as no cunt else in there was dressed like Guy Ritchie pretending to be the lord of the manor with tweed clothing/caps etc.