Howmanheyman

What horses? Oh, Dave.

A South African lad joined me and a mate who were out on an all day session a few years ago, seemed ok at first so we said just tag along with us, an hour or so later after being a big Brexit/Farage fan and talking shite I mentioned to my pal that this cunt was getting on my nerves and started to sing the nice south African song. He must've twigged as he was still sitting with us and fucked off when he'd finished his drink. He was also wanting the old system back in SA despite being a baby or not born when apartheid was around. Anyway, I can honestly say I've never met a nice South African.

Beardsley sounds a bit like Bob Mortimer.

Judge for yourself. Barnes, Gazza and Beardsley in that order.

The mackems doing similar for their away shirt with the difference being that the retro crest matches the shirt. Hummel have done a decent job TBF although I hope and am confident they'll be paying the club buttons.

Not exactly news but what a fucking knacker this lad is.

He's now having a long rest.

MLF supporting other club as his club doesn't satisfy his needs but still has the hardwired instinct to display his mackemness. ✅

The fact he'd lived so long has definitely cushioned the blow

I would've thought he was long dead?

This music follows CT around in the background.

The security bloke when the fantastic support which he's never seen the likes of before left to go to another bar.....

Five-a-side doesn't count. This kid has time on his side to do Quinny and big Philippe justice.

"Herr Fuhrer, according to our intelligence the mackems are playing a couple of friendlies away from home." "It's alright, it'll probably just be another game like Gateshead at the international stadium where they might even get beat again." "Herr Fuhrer, it's..... it's a friendly in Alicante against a Spanish mid table second tier club." "For fucks sake! This changes absolutely everything! How are we supposed to compete when they're arranging European glamour friendlies like this?! Get on the phone to Riyadh and arrange the sale of NUFC immediately!"

Gerrin!!!!

About fucking time we got a player with a tache again!

They can swivel.

I f I was ever to walk into a brothel or some kind of sex shop and someone put a camera in my face and saying, 'HMHM, have you been invited here? It's Tyne Tees news, why are you here?' I think I might just try to emulate Liz Truss's blank, mute, grin face and see if by some absolute miracle I would get away with it? Mrs HMHM: "I saw you on Tyne Tees going into that brothel but you didn't say anything and were just smiling so it's probably nothing to worry about?"

Alternatively; "Hoo, Sinbad! Two beers on horseback, please."

"I've got a little black book of NUFC contacts from Billy Askew to Mickey Quinn, from Lee Bowyer to Nobby Solano and everyone in between. If it's happened at NUFC, then I've got an ex-player quote on tap. Up there for thinking, wor kid, doon there for dancing. Lol. Laters "