Howmanheyman

"I hired Leanne to remove my piano but as she arrived I was in the middle of playing 'ebony and ivory' on it with my friend who looked like Stevie Wonder. I got the dirtiest look from her. Don't recommend. 1/5 stars."

On the plus side he was wearing a pink carnation as well so it was like silk and steel before he was drugged.

If you're a social media 'star', especially a foreign one, some at the club or some of our other fans will suck you dry in an instant.

I'm imagining this is what Juninho is telling Albert here.

Dick Emery looking good for his age, tbf.

HMHM likes this. ✅

Woah! Hang on a minute, are you calling these middle class fans cunts? Can we all just agree to disagree here guys and I'll get the Starbucks in, yeah?

A likable lad now slightly less likable. Sad.

I'm not German but.....MEIN GOTT!!!

Really sad to hear this, me and my mate spent a couple of hours cracking on with him and his mate a few years ago in the monkey bar and he was superb crack. I think he got a bit worried when I said my Mam knew him before he came over to Newcastle before I just mentioned they both worked in the same printers. Fantastic tales and when he mentioned who played with and against it seemed a bit surreal. RIP, Tommy.

"You're still thinking about the bad stats, aren't you?"

Not in my twitterverse.

That's the spirit!

A new shame has arrived.

Funny how the ex-managers we said were turbo shit yet were doing a great job under unrealistic expectations all seem to end up managing in football's backwaters if they manage again at all? "Back home dey say mayak hay whi-al de sun shine, while here in Jamaica Imma gon say, 'de sun don shine till it pour' like in de lilt ad, boi."

I like how he doesn't forget to have a fan of another club sharing his disgust and amusement because of course he does.

"I always thought you were batting for the other team, Squire?"

Pontayland airport, did ya say, marra? Embarrassing you're saying?

I've barely seen anything about this as I just can't.

I had that tracksuit too.

If catapult was an olympic event then Walker would've won gold every four years when I was a kid as every cunt had one made out of old bed springs.

It must be a South Shields/Boldon thing, first CT with Denise Squelch, now gemmill with Ruth Madoc. I'm just waiting for the next person from south of the Tyne to pipe up about having the hots for Su Pollard, tbh.