Howmanheyman

Canny little thread. It's the hope that kills you......

Yet again another match I've missed lately through work. No surprise we win.

They're special. No doubt at all about it.

Completely agree.

PL has gone full Leazes Mag. Repeat, PL has gone full Leazes Mag. Over.

Aye, same for me. What the fuck's this nonsense? If it isn't 'tuggy' are you even from Newcastle? (I'm probably an odd one out on 'Granny' rather than 'Nana' but at least I recognise that).

It might be a bit pedantic or I could well be a luddite but when your team score a goal it's nice to go a bit apeshit celebrating it without having to stop for an inquest before resuming the celebration which has lost the moment or it getting chalked off. I see it's good intentions and I'm not totally against it but parts of it don't do anything for a game that's managed perfectly well for over a hundred years.

The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half 16/02/2019 Oh this year we're off to sunny Spain! Y Viva Espana! EEEh ya fucka, diary. The things ah get to do in this crazy world of following NUFC just so me loyal punters get their daily fix of Ryder hot takes of life on the United beat as Olly used to say. Ah managed to get to Murcia via an easyjet flight to Alicante then bussed the rest of the way to the United camp, 'living the fucking dream' diary! Lol. When ah fund oot aboot the trip ah thought ah'd ring rund the lads and kill two bords with one stone which is something all us seasoned hacks know is the way to get the scoops. Anyways, ah bells cockeyed Mala and he let on that Pigeon chest Campbell was thinking of having a second stag do after his first got ruined by getting drugged and bummed by a couple of rent boys in Budapest after a prank got a bit oot a hand. Like Hannibal off the A-Team, ah fucking loved it when a plan got together and thought we'd ah'll gan on the piss after the friendly v CSKA Moscow where ah'd metamorf, meteormophis, err change into Balou with the NUFC stuff and only do the bare necessities with a Rafa quote, a player quote and a 'five things' bit before giving the Spanish senorita hinnies six nowt later on! Ah'd also gave one time Spanish Toon defender, 'Sore-finger-on-my-chip' Marcelino a bell asking him to turn up so ah could tek a photo of him as ah knew he lived close by. "Senor Ryder! I am having a family BBQ that day! I cannot make it, my old friend" he said on the phone. Ah then reminded him of a certain Thomson House cleaner called Jeanette and how Senora Marcelino might want to hear a few tales when he reluctantly decided to show up! (You have to be ruthless in this game, diary, kid gloves off). Anyways, after a shite kickabout ah got a couple of quotes, took 'fingers' pic then met the lads in Murcia toon centre. Ah'd already had a few chilled sangrias pitchside in the heat and mustn't have realised the potency as we headed oot. Ah was fucking rampant winking at the Iberian fanny and any holiday makers of the female variety. Ah was fucking mortal by the time we got to a nightclub and that's where these fucking Russian booncers set their lip up. "No! This one does not come in!" said fucking Ivan number one. "What ya talking aboot ya daft cunt! ah've anny had a few!" ah said trying to stand up straight. It was then ah noticed a CSKA tattoo on his knuckle! So, he was in the huff at not beating the mighty Mags in a friendly, eh? Thought he could mess with the former foot soldier of the Toon army? Ah was aboot to swing a punch when ah realised he was probably one of the MMA Russian hardcore hooligans. Ah thought to mesel that ah couldn't spoil Pigeon chest Campbell's second stag do after the first one went Pete Tong so ah let Ivan off the hook and we staggered to a brothel where even Cock eyed Mala got his end away and Pigeon chests arsehole remained unmolested! Lol. Anyways, flights to catch, NUFC stuff to write, Punters to keep happy! Ryder and fucking out.

Lads, lads, they're being too nice to the minnows. That's the problem.

Both currently winning 2-0.

The 97-98 was class in comparison. (And I was very underwhelmed at that one!)

"Hehehe. The auld black book of shit hot toon contacts, handed down by me auld mentor, Alan 'wide of the mark' Oliver paying divvie, divadents, err, paying off once again. Up there for thinking, doon there for dancing, wor kid. Lol."

FFS gloomy, man!

Celebrating a goal then waiting around a couple of minutes to celebrate a refs whistle isn't the beautiful game, like. Pro's and cons.

Standard when one of their 'big 6' aren't playing. I'm surprised they don't start the show with an apology to their viewers that they have a Quota they must adhere to for live games for the rest of the also-rans.

They'd rather have Simon Grayson err, Chris Coleman I mean Jack Ross* than Rafa. *I'm hearing reports of a 'Jack Dross' at the minute. Stand by for latest new 'Che Guevara' manager who is DEFINITELY better than Benitez.

He's been busy at graft.

I can't remember that tbh and I was at the game! It's weird what sticks and what doesn't. My main memory of that game is Gordon Armstrong* running past the benches goading them after 'Gabbiadooni' as Jack Charlton called him in the highlights commentary later on that day had scored. *The horrible cunt.

"DILLON, MAN!!!!!" As he missed another good chance, a common shout from that season where he never scored a goal.

Kevin Dillon, man. Useless Mackem, missed chances on a regular basis and was once sent off against us in a fight with big Peter Jackson. Also a Mackem. And useless. Was never going to go well for him, was it?

Fond memories of Molinuex tbh. A 1-0 win courtesy of Kevin Scott and a spotty Wolves fan trying to take the piss and getting absolutely fucking crucified by us all for about 10 mins before moving away from the fence virtually in tears before someone kindly threw a coin off his napper as he left. It wasn't big or clever but quite amusing when you're 16 year old. I Roilly howp this wolves fan was that spottoi fan.

Easy to mock but swap UAE for Sunderland council and Qatar for Newcastle United and, err...... I mean, a council DOES have the right to protect itself from a mysterious cabal of Tyneside businessmen, after all.

Is anyone keeping an eye on Quiff to make sure he's OK?