Howmanheyman

I think it's on Netflix.

Looney Tony: "Hey! Monkey fist! Vaffanculo already!"

Were you hurt? Maybe put the videos away next time?

As Alan Oliver should've said, reports of me being a fanny magnet were 'wide of the mark'.

I'm definitely off the drink for a few weeks.

Didn't even know I'd posted that. (It's not Walkergate, it's Tenerife.)

18 years ago these bairns got married..... (Pic taken 3 years prior to wedding).

We've had the lass from the co-op advert and @Ayatollah Hermiones question. Next up, Jacqui Oatley. Yes? No? Splatter like a painters radio?

It's looking like fatty is going to fuck rafa over again, (who knew?), so it'll be another backs to the wall job next season with players having to give their all again. Shaqiri doesn't seem the type to thrive on that although admittedly Rafa may get a better tune out of him than Hughes or Lambert. Or he may not feel the need to waste his time and instead coach young players who are hungry and willing to listen. It just about got us 10th last season but you've also got to look at what our squad will look like as well. No Kenedy and if we were to lose lascelles things might be a bit tighter than last season. All these things will have to be taken into account when you have the joys of being involved with Mike Ashley's football club once known as Newcastle United.

Pigeon chest and a lazy cunt. Mitrovic looked handy too but we can't accommodate him with our personnel and pigeon chest is no different either.

She's not that bad, FFS.

Gemmill: "Where to potential victims, err, I mean ladies?" Pissed lasses: "Eee look, the driver looks like that gadgie from murder in Paradise." Nobody comes out looking great in this scenario, CT.

Whey aye. (be rude not to.)

Are they worried about their new owners? Of course not but they do need to know what other fans think, (fucking naturally they need to know that ) and lo and behold, Bish bosh, whese Keyes are theyse..... 'Other fans' think their new owners are cush too. Of course they do. Probably hate NUFC as well, marras. Good job it's us that are delewded, eh?

Good luck, Gemmill, hope things work out. If anything happens to my job I'm just about fucked this time I reckon as I most jobs are already taken and I'm fucked if I'll ever do zero hours or any temporary shit. I Daniel Blake in the making. Still, at least we'll have taken back control.

Nothing at all seems wrong here. Natural as fuck.

'Kenny' on the BBC iPlayer about Dalglish. Superb show and as you'd expect pretty sombre regarding Hillsborough. What a difference between now and then regarding football and the attitudes towards it which sometimes get lost in time. Every fucker wants a slice of it now, different story then and it never fails to move me especially knowing how they would've ended up in that pen as I did exactly the same a few months prior to the tragedy when we played there. Hillsborough made and broke Dalglish in my opinion as the toll obviously wore him down. Well worth watching.

Ryder tweeting again.

Good old Chops. Now Gemm will still be able to take an upskirt photo of May when she's in her Tory pose of legs wide apart. (You know you want to).

Alreet, Michael Crichton.

You need to get back on the drink you worky fucka.

We've just about managed all these years without it tbf. This var from all I've seen of it so far is definitely taking something away from the game, a goal goes in and you half feel people looking around to see whether there's going to be a look at it and refs walking around looking at a screen while everyone waits around. It's fucking bollocks, man. The goal line technology seems to work fine and is instant so that's great but I just think this is spoiling the whole event of a goal being scored.

Shiny?

He's a lazy cunt, a poor attitude and overweight despite his talent in my opinion. Not for me, Clive.

Makes Father Stone look like the life and soul of the party.