Howmanheyman

I can't wait till the moment we can all say the government's getting the hang of this brexit lark.

Joselu-lu-lu He might miss one, he might miss two Joselu-lu-lu He'll miss a third when he's put through With his left, with his right He'll miss the lot he's fucking shite Joselu-lu-lu I hate Mike Ashley, he's a cunt.

"Thank you, Sir, that'll be £2,500." "Crumbs!"

Wasn't far wrong was I?

Think it might've been PeasePud once from here that wrote about nufc.direct.com or something being purchased as a domain name a few months before his 'impulse' buy. I believe nothing that comes from Ashley or his lackeys tbh.

He said he'd see you alright, Rob, once he gets his laser treatment.

This thread, bullshit, reality or deliberately leaked to test the water? All scenarios wouldn't surprise me. The main reason I'd suspect bullshit is that I can quite believe they have no real plan and it isn't deliberate, more incompetence but maybe that's just how it started and they're going to take advantage of the deregulation at the very least.

No.

Ah, shame. Part of a lot of our childhoods, rainbow was. RIP Geoffrey.

How in the name of Christ, Buddha, Allah and whoever.....did these cunts get, (and stay) in power? Surely to god, even those who can't stand Corbyn can't be letting these cunts off the hook again?

The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half 01/10/2018 Alreet diary? Been almost a year since ah was in the kooh i noor restaurant in the bigg market disguised as an Indian waiter in me never ending quest to get the scoops on the high flyers at the cathedral on the hill, St James' park and one Michael Wallace Ashley, all for me loyal puntas who live for their daily NUFC fix. Why bring that up again you might ask? Well, not for the first time in me award winning career ah was going fine dining again to fill mesel up with some scrumpchis, err, scrumptchi, err some lovely NUFC story for me back page in the Ronald Gill. Ah heard off one of me new narks in the NUFC squad that Mike Ashley was tekking rafa and the lads oot for some scran as he was starting to feel the heat from the protests and wanted some good publicity. Me nark, who ah can't name, let on where they'd be, so ah thanked young Jamie, 'Sterrys-in-their-eyes' and hot footed it doon to North Shields Sambucas restaurant with me false tache on and glasses and managed to get a seat near all the squad, Rafa and the Buckinghamshire whale. The waiters handed oot two menus, the proper one and a 3 course special one which was only £3.99 for three courses. Mike piped up, "Rafa, me old Iberian sausage, tell the boys they can have anyfing they want off the £3.99 menu. Anyfing, money's no object!" And ah thought to mesel that must be almost £150 with drinks chucked in! That would've been me weekly wage when the great Sir Bobby was in charge! They'd just finished ordering and the waiter was heading to the kitchen when Jacob Murphy had changed his mind and wanted Spaghetti bolognese instead of a Hawaiian pizza. Ah thought the kid was as decisive on his food as he was with his final ball but when it looked too late Javier Manquillo piped up, "Don't worry, Jacob, I'll intercept him before he gets to the door and tell him what you want!" Manquillo then darted doon the long table, got past Rafa's and Ashley's chairs and was just about to tap the waiter's shoulder when the Italian waiter side stepped him went through the kitchen door and Manquillo crashed onto his arse. Nee wonder we were struggling, ah thought! Ah got a few bits and pieces for me back page, ah wasn't in the best place to hear everything but ah thought ah'd just do a '5 things we learned about a 3 course Italian Toon slap up' and clocked who ate what, when ah noticed what looked like Rafa coaching Joselu at the dining table! Wow! He just doesn't let up and is a fanatic. Ah pretended to gan forra piss so ah could hear his advice to the Spanish hitman. "Please, Joselu, I know it is not your favourite but mike has paid good money for it, can you not finish it?" Matt Ritchie then shouted out that he couldn't finish anything before the unhappy Spaniard striker broke down in tears. Just as things were kicking off Mike diffused the situation by necking a pint, farting loudly, shouting out 'more tea, vicar' and then spewed up in an alcove! He then got out his phone and argued with the owner about getting two for one on his voucher cloud app but Luigi wasn't having it and said it was already on special! Eventually a deal was done and a happy Mike got a further 25% off while the players picked straws to see which three of them would have to come back next week for an hours photo op with sambuca's customers. Ah thought to mesel that yes, he gets stick, but fair play to him for boosting the teams morale with this night oot. Ah just knew the players lapped it up and would now go on a winning run and ah just knew me puntas would be dining out on me 5 star, shit hot Newcastle United craic! Ryder does it again! Lol. Laters.

He fought the Zulus in 'Nam*. (Birmingham).

BBC iPlayer is showing the two episodes of the silent war about the US, UK and Soviet nuclear sub's and their cat and mouse, cold war tracking of each other again. It's a good show. Also watched a programme on there of the Spanish flu pandemic of 1918-19 which, considering the numbers of deaths involved, (50m plus), it always amazes me how little of the subject has been mentioned, taught, discussed etc. The numbers involved were staggering. (Maybe Farage could've stood in front of a memorial or something with a sad face about it if only it was just confined to Britain rather than a global outbreak?)

Take a hint, Clint. Fuck off.

It isn't just the advertising, I'd hate to see the state of our t&cs regarding the merchandise.

I hope they never change.

Club employee: "Ladies and gentleman, I give you Peter Kenyon, chairman of the consortium to buy out Newca....." Knight Ryder: "....Ah'll just stop you there, bonny lad, Kenyon needs nee introduction up here, fucking capiche, wor kid?"

Not if Harold Shipman is on the ward.

It was a last ditch 'any fucker'll do' after we couldn't get a striker in and it shows. The fact that a year later he's actually moving up the pecking order after the PL money windfall is truly scandalous. Fucking disgraceful and I'm at the stage now I'm praying for a blocked artery for the fat cockney bastard.

Game over.

Relegation hat-trick for the football genius. He's going after the club record I reckon.

That penalty, man. Other than Cardiff this year, I can't recall us ever getting a pen for that. Diame should've done better with his header and joselu is a headless chicken. Scandalous the centre forward business that went on this summer.