Howmanheyman

I know a lad who reckons he was the last one to live in and leave the Dunston rocket. Obviously he didn't realise wor Seb in the flat above him was still smoking a tab, having a can and watching the TV as he left the building thinking he was the very last one standing.

'Get Brexit done'. Is this some kind of Tory slogan? Could've swore I've heard Johnson say it the odd time?

When's the Trafalgar Square champions season on?

Funny as fuck if they have a third season in the third division. Honestly, fucking amazing how their constant new manager bounce against us papered over the cracks to the extent it was a massive false economy where they've slid down the pan like a particularly runny diarrhoea looking back up at us in the distance. Shame, real shame that.

David Bowie: "You look a bit down in the dumps, Bing. What's wrong?" Bing Crosby: "my inflatable arsehole needs blown up." Bowie: "Do you want to borrow my rubber bum pump?" Bing: "Rubber bum pump?" Bowie: "Rubber bum pump."

Why do they always intentionally spell things wrong like 'Jurdees' for 'Geordies', 'kernt' for 'cunt' and now 'Rafa' being 'Wafa'. Are they fucking brain-dead?

Where's the Norwich/SAFC, Man city/SAFC, Everton/SAFC half and half?

Clear and OBVIOUS mistake getting overturned is what it's there for. Been a few where this hasn't been the case. Juries still out.

RTG: Lucky Mags! MagVardia!!

I told you these were vulnerable on the counter. (Cough, ahem).

Shelvey wants loads of credit for that, mind. I'd stopped playing in my own head when the whistle went.

Var! Huh! What is it good for? A second away goal since you're asking.

These can be vulnerable from a counter attack if the Man U came is anything to go by but we've never looked like catching them at all. We're lucky they haven't scored tbh but saying that we can get them on the break but the will's got to be there to do it!

A Tory. A cunt. May his balls fester and his arse seize up.

Tory. Par for the course.

Or Peter White. One of them.

Peter Withe.

I'm on nightshift this week, Rob.

You think they're bad? You're going to blow a gasket when you get round to reading the Evening Chronicle.

Var giving arsenal a second go of a saved penalty as both teams players encroached the area, arsenal then score the retaken pen. Former arsenal player Alan 'boring brummie cunt' Smith lapping it up.

I've heard the Don is looking at Oxford's stand behind one of their goals with envious glances in a bid to cover up empty seats......

It's a mixture of prolonged propaganda by a media very much in favour of the conservatives with an underlying hint of doing anything other than vote for 'Boris' and chums is not being patriotic to Britain. Also it questions their mental facilities and to admit that they've been stitched up by their failure to see through the Eton chancers is something they just aren't prepared to see.

"58 mins: fan a few rows back shots 'That's TWICE you've been for a piss! Tie a knot in it, man!' to laughs from the crowd. Shelvey tries to put in Joelinton through on goal on the right but is intersepterat, intersexual, err, robbed by Ferdinandino. More as it comes."

Anyone interested in finding out any of the chants from man city fans? "57 mins: bloke two seats from the aisle in row RR upper Gallowgate goes for a piss"