Howmanheyman

I've never been sent any pictures of a bar by anyone. Who sent you them and why did they send them to you?

The detective inspector eventually got on to Wykiki having something to do with the missing admin girls was when he noticed Wykiki's lawn had rectangular patches of freshly dug up soil all about 6" long.

If it isn't called Bar Tholomew I'm not interested, even if it has got tellys, food, a decent selection of beer and it could well be a potentially a good meeting place before the game, not one fuck will indeed be given.

I assumed it was a bloke as that's no way to speak about the fairer sex.

Taxi? Nah, I'll get the bus. Everytime I get a taxi I wake up with a bad head and a sore arse.

But at least he'll be keeping the Dyno-Rod lads in full time work.

Fucking grinded on me when I sat up in new 'singing section' when the odd group would try to sing songs which included the IRA in them, quite often when others were singing other NUFC songs at the same time. Same kids who by their age have no real idea of it or faced anything to do with it. Why bring it up? They want to 'bring back the noise' then compete against others singing at the same time with their bollocks? Honestly, it's like someone going to games from the 1950's complaining about me and my pals from the late 80s/early 90s so I don't want to come across like a dinosaur but at least we actually sang some fucking Newcastle songs! (luckily didn't hear anything about Tommy Robinson so can assume that's kicked in with the same group of divvies in the last couple of years?)

By the way, Wykiki should do a periodical blog or something, 'Tales from the office'. I love reading his posts about it.

There's a manager at my place, a bit like a Vulcan but with a personality not even as warm as a Vulcan's. He was doing some kind of appraisal and slagging an old timer off. After he'd finished his lecture he gave a company line asking if there's anything he could do to help the by now, pissed off old timer. The old timer's one word, deadpan response of 'die' got him sacked.* *He might've got it downgraded on an appeal but I think he'd had enough, (plenty of managers like Spock here).

Alright, Mr Logic? I was being ironic and dramatic, luvvie.

Fucking horrific listening to 'Fletch' and 'Macca' commentating on the Liverpool game. In a fiercely contested field, they're probably THE worst around so much so, that if I discovered a time machine, I'd go back to my mother's old house, find her knitting needles and stick them in my ears.

I'm pinching that.

Give him a couple of years, (if he's got it), and it'll be the equivalent of the blitz spirit, Rourke's Drift, Waterloo and the battle of Trafalgar that he showed on the ship.

We're on a great unbeaten run under Ashley according to mensa on the sky mic.

FFS, had to score.

Ceballos again. How many before he gets carded?

Double bollocks. Don't know if I can stick listening to this boring Brummie cunt for the rest of arsenal's usual home win over us.

Bastards. Some stroking going on in the trouser dept from the lads on the mic. Over to you, Jeff.

Whey no. Alan Smith and the commentator doing my nut in and are out of synch with the studio opinion.

A bit like them giving Coloccini an extension because they couldn't/didn't want to buy a centre half despite the fact he was finished and wanted away.

It reminds me of that old nursery rhyme that never quite took off.... There was 50,000 nurses Sitting on the wall. 50,000 nurses added to them all And if 31,000 nurses were already there, There'd be 26 member's of the cabinet Talking out their arse.

Rayvin, An old teacher once wrote on a blackboard on our first day with him..... 2 + 2 = 5 ..... And then asked us ways to get to that answer. Obviously nobody could do it. He then told us 2 + 2 = 5 is only correct if he says it's correct and don't forget it or else. The teacher turned out to be a great teacher, (an eccentric bloke with a big dollop of 'hard cunt-ness'). Think of the Tories claims in the same way with the twist that they aren't great politicians and are soft as shite.

Apparently he's done a piece on the 89 relegation year calling the likes of Hendrie flops but not calling Pingel who he credits with an 'audacious' headed goal against champions Liverpool. He's obviously been in touch with Pingel for the story because Pingel was utterly shit, uninterested and for those who were there to see the 'audacious' header all we can do is . He knew fuck all about it and it hit him on the top/back of his head. Oh, Lee. When the Puntaz have a memory. And a brain. Never mind.

There used to be a half time song that always got played, winning, losing or drawing. An instrumental but I've no idea what it was called. Upbeat and all 'jolly' which was all the more ridiculous when we were getting beat. Mid-80s ish. Morris dancing-esque.