Howmanheyman

Had a cracking stream on the phone, missed the goals but after ten mins or so I just couldn't take any more of this shite, like. The standard of football is fucking lifting. They're in big trouble no matter what happens today. Obviously be funny as fuck if they get beat but after seeing them v Portsmouth for 45 mins and this I'll still sleep OK should they go up. How any sane person would think we could be jealous of this? It's like being jealous of all the north east non-league clubs that always get there in the FA Vase.

Walker's sensations have the same flavour so they must've been ahead of their time.

Proper flavour, proper radioactive.

These were the best tramp crisps I had. Me and wor sis loved them. Only difference to the pic is the packet was blue and the flavour was vinegar and onion. Think my mam got them somewhere on Shields Road in the 80's. The pack was massive so was a sharing pack. Tasted nicer than they sound.

Another friend bites the dust

Nice one Nice one Sunderland! Befriend them all Befriend them all Charlton, Villa, Walsall We'll never be mastered by black & white bastards.....(pauses to remove clothes in public and shit in a fountain)..... Sunlun's the classiest of all.

1619 "I am O'Hanlon and this is the ancient home of our clan and shall be a bastion for all the times!" 2019 "Ant! Ant! Can we have one of those wee tayto spirals?! Pleeeease!!"

"Fixed your post, wor kid."

Man U's strip is the worst they've ever had that I can remember. Maybe I'm just a traditionalist when it comes to football strips but it even grates on me seeing other clubs shirts being butchered, especially clubs with stripes being removed on the back.

It's fucking lifting and (further) cheapens the club. I've never bought a new shirt since around 2001.

Gott in himmel! Hande hoch! Schnell! Mein Gott! For you, ze cartoons is over!

Them Yankee lads could start a war in an empty continent.

Went this afternoon with the wife, was only an elderly bloke in there other than us.

Chernobyl is fucking superb television. Anyone who hasn't watched it yet, pull your finger out.

The Chronic also said we were signing Ian Rush from Juventus and continues to employ the Knight Ryder so, y'knaa.

That sounds more like a bitter episode from your own personal experience, Rob. P.s. just had a quote for a job and he was your double. Do you have any Ukrainian relatives?

"I'm Kevin Keegan and you can tell any mackem reading this that I will love it, love it if they think a journalist who shares my surname is a Mag and personally asked to write an article questioning Sunderland's owner."

It gets better, the back is all black. The club made a song and dance about red numbers and the stripes coming back so they must be aware of the impact of this shirt. They're taking the piss Mk XXVI.

Daily Mail has some piece on the Trotter's selling safc for a profit, our Mackem survey said......

The first time Tyler meets an absolute cunt of a Villa fan, (it'll happen), the hammer blow to his special bond will be worse than a jilted 1st love. Same with all their special relationships. 'But, but, wa marras, wa hayet the mags an everything!'

Unfortunately for young Tyler the Mackem, Dom1976 is a sex fiend who preys on gullible village idiots from Chicken towns all over the country. #PrayforTyler's-arse.

'It must be love, lu-u-urve Bless you and bless me, Bless the Whees And the Keyes.''

Yes! I confess! It was I! I planned the whole thing from my comfortable, sorry, mein kampfy cushioned chair in my snug council office. You'd be surprised to learn I was ex-forces which actually helped me get the job in the first place. At the interview I was asked if I had any medical conditions? I said I had a caffeine intolerance and my testicles were blown off by a IED in Iraq. He told me that the council liked to support us veterans and gave me the job. He said everyone was on 9-5 but I could start at eleven instead. I asked why and he said that at the council they just stand around scratching their balls and drinking coffee for the first couple of hours. IT WAS THAT COUPLE OF HOURS I DEVISED MY MILKSHAKE AMBUSH! Yours, Council worker. (And proud).

It never ends.

I don't wear sunglasses but you're recommending them, aye?