Howmanheyman

This is a good old one.....

A quick note to the Irish lads on here from my good friend, Ray O'Sunshine* on this special day for all Irishman..... * @Monkeys Fist

Was out the other week and we got talking to some Yorkshire kids. Can't remember how the conversation started but it turned into a 'guess our names' bollocks as if we were chatting some blurt? Anyway, I said I bet at least one of you are called 'Josh'. One of them said how did you guess? I said most twenty something knackers these days seemed to be called Josh so thought I wouldn't be too far off.

Man City or Everton? (I got Everton).

@PaddockLad a mutual friend just been ordered home on full pay to wait and see how things progress because he also has asthma and even his workmates have been told to go home and only work in pairs for emergency call outs. They work on maintenance around the transport system. Meanwhile I'm expecting not to be able to socialise in pubs with friends or visit relatives but am ok to work alongside colleagues and sit with them in a relatively small bait room in my vital confectionery job.

This is doing my head in. The eldest has just started working in a pharmacy, the youngest is still going to school, the wife can't work and I can't work from home and my job isn't essential and I'm due back in tonight. But we should 'avoid' stuff? 'If we can?' No surprises the UK is looking to be at the top of the charts for worst outcomes for where we're at on the timescale.

The response and backtracking of those in power reminds me of.....

@PaddockLad you're doing the right thing temporarily flamming it. Fucking scandalous you're having to. Why the schools are still open is beyond me?

Aye, my job is non essential but I'd be surprised if they tell us not to go in until it's an official order from the government which they're not doing. I'm not in a vulnerable group, mind. Working from home isn't ever happening.

Aye, that's why it was slightly amusing, it's usually a good thing but S&N used it to fuck over the fed lads when we bought them out for a temporary fix to a problem. They had my sympathy as to save a relatively small amount of money the company shafted them.

Work from home. If you can't? 'Oy vey! Shit happens.'......seems to be the message coming across here. Go on the sick, mate.

Tupe can be used the other way as well. We merged with another workforce and they were expecting our T&C's which were a bit better, (redundancy package four times better), our company said.... ......They told the the lads from the old company they'd be on the same T&C's as tupe demands. So a workers right which is usually a good thing was used to save a few quid when they knew redundancy was going to be an issue in the near future. God bless capitalism. It always finds a way.

Lying arseholes with big pockets, isn't that right the conservative party?

It very much feels like they're testing the water on stuff and reacting. I thought these fuckers survived two wars etc? Fucking useless. Btw, what's the crack in Russia? Are they immune to it as I've not heard a peep from that neck of the woods?

My folks are in their 70s but my sister lives with them, she works with patients though as an OT so good news on the shopping front, not so good for chances of passing anything on. I'm a bit wary of visiting in case I pass anything on and one of my daughters has just started working at a pharmacy so thinking it's only a matter of time before we get it so want to keep my distance from my mam and dad. It's shit.

It's quite telling that their worst flaws or flaws they see in other Sunderland fans talking shite are quite often described as 'Mag behaviour'. There's rivalry, I won't deny we laugh and take the piss and vice versa and that's normal but they cling to their part in it a lot more as it's all they have. They can't openly admit it and when they see it from their own they have to 'share' the blame, thus ''Mag behaviour', 'Magesque', 'bollocks! That's the type of shit the mags come out with' and of course the eternal and much loved 'Mag at work'.

The wife's disabled, she usually does an online shop once a week from Sainsburys and sometimes Asda and I usually pop up to Sainsbury's of wherever getting bits and bobs that we've forgot or bits from elsewhere. Asda and Sainsbury's online shopping booked out for three weeks. So if you're disabled or would struggle to get out to shop and you have nobody to help you or do your shop you're fucked because a few more people can't be arsed to shop in person or think they'll beat the queue, whatever? If they expect the vulnerable and elderly to self isolate is their going to be any plans in place to actually feed and water them as well as making they're getting their medication etc? A plan and an explanation might be a bit reassuring if it's not too much trouble from our betters in government?

Chronicled YP

Me too. They can fuck right off.

Good luck.

'The Northumbrian piper' = He was a gaffer who had a colostomy bag.

'Balou' = He only ever did the bare necessities at work. 'Redbull' = ironically called because it's full of energy and he err, wasn't. 'New Kid' = Had been at the place for 30 years but kept getting moved shifts, different departments etc by managers because he was always too busy chewing the fat with everyone rather than doing his job. 'Turkish delight' = A lad who ended up going to NUFC games with the gaffer and up his arse a bit. Why Turkish delight? The gaffer's name was Easton. The kid was full of eastern promise. 'The eye of Sauron' = This kid misses fuck all and knows the exact time you went for a break and when you got back. Probably a few more but that's off the top of my head.

'"I'm not being Magesque....." What a fucking knacker.

Might have to return to the old childhood emergency bog roll, Doc leaves. Also come in handy if I get a nettle sting while I'm there.