Howmanheyman

And a wobber?

As the late Terry Jones (almost) said as the mother of Brian to the three wise men bearing gifts....'Well, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. And thanks a lot for M'bappe and the twenty virgins. But don't worry too much about the suicide jihadists next time, all right? Thank you. Goodbye. Well, weren't they nice? Out of their bloody minds, but still......'

Ah, Plata o plomo approach? Like it.

I've always thought people who watch football religiously only go once at easter and once near Christmas just for appearances?

Joelinton! Woa-oa-oah! Joelinton! Woa-oa-oah! At scoring goals he's shit! But he's a maestro at the clit! (Repeat to fade).

Thanks www.toon1892.com. (That's your website, isn't it?)

I hear Charlie Methadone* is free? *The Don's brilliant PR man at Sunderland.

He makes @The Fish sound like biffa bacon.

You should hear @PaddockLad talk, man. It's like having a conversation with Brian Sewell.

'Hi 606, Newcastle fan, I'm a season ticket holder.' (Me in the car) 'What hand do you hold it with you fucking knob.'

Hated football till Italia 90 and/or sky took over and couldn't tell you any match anecdotes from before then and didn't know many players pre-1992 types.

Bloke in the local shop spelled it 'Whissy'. Also sold 'Lambruso'.

More 'takeovers' than cup wins under Ashley.

Don't diss.... 'Woah! Johnny, Johnny! Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny Anderson!' Sit on the naughty step for three minutes then you can come back and say sorry.

I researched it.

It's now like Everton trying to take the piss out of Liverpool.

Some of the most plastic NUFC fans I've ever met have had season tickets. (Anyway, I was only having a carry on with you, mate).

Here's my own question. What the fuck have you got against fans who don't have a season ticket? Fuck your survey and fuck you!

Knight Ryder: "Welcome to the Toon, home of Newcastle United, Valentino. My first burning question to you is this.....(tries to keep grin in).....Have you ever.....(looks around room, smug look on his face, then looks back at new signing)..... have you ever seen a mackem in Milan?"