Howmanheyman

Well that saves me at least one trip a year to get the new Argos catalogue 'if I'm going out?'.

Brown, surely?

I bought a 65" TV in a rare bit of splashing out. (It's a big room and we moved things around a bit and the 47" TV we had ended up looking like a 37" after we shifted it. The youngest now has the old TV).

Time hasn't been too kind to Didier Deschamps I see.

When I saw Ramage linked with NUFC I just assumed FCB had got a better haulage deal transporting his tat around his shops.

'A parcel of Dwight'.

BT sport.

This 'cup run', man. Took replays to get past third and fourth division clubs then just scraped past a vastly changed West Brom who were clearly looking at promotion only. First PL team we played we were swept away.

Relegation kit. (Assuming we get stuck with FCB and the manager everyone wants us to have because he's treble cush but don't want him for their own clubs).

Congratulations, @Ant

Clash of the Titans! Immovable object meets unstoppable force.....

Aye, also, what a great job Brucie's done.

Aye it's 'something for Brucie tow get his teeth intow' according to Mr Charisma on the mic.

Alan Smith is just so bori......ZZZZZzzzzzzz.

Will it be the same people who won the war despite being babies or not even born during the war and who won it because they weren't snowflakes?

I was there last week and vast majority didn't have a mask. I didn't have a mask last night when I nipped out in a hurry to get some bits and bobs from Sainsburys and felt guilty I forgot mine. Ratio was closer to haves/have nots in Sainsburys than it was in B&Q in North Shields.

So he's got the funds and can protect them too? Win/win for them.

It's happening, folks.....

Pure guesswork!

"Well diary, long time no see, ah was just about to set off for graft as some clever cunt, or so-called clever cunt had intraduc, introjuice, err brought in social distancing into Thomson house and we all had to go back after dialling it in through the lockdown until ah mentioned us all bunching up as we all started together so ah managed to get staggered starts so ah was still in the house when me batphone rang. "Hello, Lee Ryder, award winning sports journalist, Newcastle chronicle, speak to me." It was pigeon chest Campbell. "Alreet, Lee? We were ah'll on WhatsApp yesterday and we're gannin to Benidorm on Tuesday. Ah'll the lads are up for it, last minute but are you up for it? Mala said he'd ring you but ah seen him this morning in the toon getting a new phone, he dropped his old one doon the bog so ah said ahe'd phone you instead." Fucking get in, ah thought. Ah could do with a lads piss up so was on it quicker than Brucie giving a vague NUFC recollection as a bairn. Ah got into work at half ten and moaned on about the mettees being off again. Ah put me holidays in with Gibbo and then bumped into Mark Douglas who told me that Saint-Maximin had won the Ronny Gill player of the year. The award was always done at the end of the season and it would've been me handing it over this year but ah was going to be full of Cruzcampo in Benidorm with the lads and hopefully balls deep in some lucky senoritas so wouldn't be able to hand it over to the French wing wizard. Mark asked if I was ok to do it and this is what separates the Ryder's from the Douglas's of this world. "Aye, nee bother wor kid, ah'll pick the trophy up when ah go on me dinner today." Douggy asked me why and ah filled him up with some shite about needing a week to psyche mesel up and using the trophy as inspiration. Anyways, ah headed up to the cathedral on the hill on me dinner hour, handed over the award to the Gallic electric eel, Allan whilst getting a piss easy 'over the moon to be here' story and making sure le magnifique froggy swapped his phone number for the chronicle trophy so ah had another toon superstar on tap, up here for thinking, doon there for dancing and yet another example for any budding regional sports journalist of how the fuck to get stuff done! Lol. Anyways, bags to pack, Kamagra to get. Laters."

2023-24, in the conference and now a fan owned club, trouble erupts in the newly formed AFC Sunderland's boardroom meeting at the Windmill pub after buying Bill Brigg from Spennymoor where a few members of the new board go and borrow £2.7m from the bank to buy him after hearing from a mag at work that PL club Newcastle United were about to poach him, despite manager Kevin Ball saying he's only worth a set of strips.

"Let's face it, Tom, and with all due respect, the Don, rest in peace, was slipping. Could I have gotten to him a year ago?"