Howmanheyman

The Knight: "Archra, err...Archo.....Artcraft, err....Lazaar! Alreet wor kid? You're looking in good shape, kidda! Think you've a a great chance of getting in the side next season, son. It's Lee, Lee Ryder by the way, top reporter on all things NUFC from the evening chronicle, you might've heard the other players mentioning me? Anyways, do you fancy a quick interview then mebbees meet up once a month for a chat?" Achraf Lazaar: "I'm really sorry, but Lee Marshall sorts out the interviews for players." The Knight: "Nee bother, young'un."

They usually do.

I'm not a mathematical expert, Rob. Can you help me with a question because I'm stuck. What is 125,000,000 - 17,000? (Asking for 17,000 fans).

Is 'chinese tea eggs' a euphemism you use for something sexual-wise, MF?

In this case real life was imitating art, luvvie. (Sniff).

What are they called then? (Help me out here, Gloomy!)

I'll go one better, I've no idea who AMN is or Holding, never mind Turnabout? I do remember Paul Goddard scoring the winner at Highbury in 87 in front of 17,000 though.

"Gramma's for old London hipster's who've forgotten their roots but know everything about sedgeways but have never SAW the whites of the eyes of certain football firms once back in the day from Charlton's firm among others."

Sunday supplement is, (WAS) atrocious.

I tell you what, I came across le tissier's tweet on this thanking a few people etc and the amount of replies accusing sky of only employing 'woke' presenters from now on or 'certain' types from now on is pretty funny yet sad as well. It's basically gammon central one saying if Morrison gets the job full time he's cancelling sky, not because Morrison is black, but because he can't string a coherent sentence together. A bit like non-black Merson then.

Haim, sweet haim.

Handy for the Coronation Street tour as well. (Bet Lynch's leopard skin matching bra and knicker set a best seller in the Granada set shop which is cunningly made up to look like Dev's superstore and also a special takeaway of Betty's hotpot served from a 'Rovers return' kiosk after a long day walking the cobbles, I say, cobbles).

Aye, that's quite amusing but they'll be replaced by carefully chosen gimps. (No mention of the tit Merson who'll keep his job as the resident dope they like to have for laughs).

Michael Owen's from Cheshire too. Just saying.

The referee's a stunner! The referee's a stunner!

He lost me as soon as he mentioned 'Leazies end'? I thought it was was called the Sir John Hall' stand or 'Exhibition park' stand or something?

It's across the road from the burger king hotel.

FTM'dYP

Both suffer from the dreaded blank space on the back. Still don't understand how clubs with striped shirts are ok with their shirt being fucked over? Would love to see the reaction if Liverpool or Man U were forced to have an all white or nearly all white patch on the back of their shirts.

Fish, you're from Seaton Sluice not downtown LA.

Lee Ryder - Trinity Mirror regional sports writer of the year. I wonder if he drinks Foster's or LCL all day?