Howmanheyman

The last photo, man. Like a sunlife assurance advert.

He'll be round tomorrow with some flowers, chocolates and a copy of the sun to cheer you up.

Anyone lose anybody in a care home to coronavirus helped by a useless government? WELL NEVER MIND THAT SHIT!!!!.........

Nice to meet you.

Still not as good as this punch.....

'The road to Wembley pull out in the evening chronicle tomorrow starts off with a preview of Blackburn Rovers at home and a date with former Magpie starlet and young Geordie, Adam Armstrong with the incentive of a trip to play a certain Joseph Barton once of the parish of the cathedral on the hill and wearer of THAT tache when he scored against Aston Villa in the revenge 6-0 dribbling following the relegation 'Sob on the Tyne' - Gate. Also read what former NUFC and Blackburn striker Louis Saha makes of the tie.'

Ernest Borgnine btw.

There's a video of the Maga's getting an unexpected wash somewhere. I'll have a look. Here it is.

It's been christened 'Dumbkirk' so I see.

Who are they playing?

Tyler went to work for BskyB a new satellite channel that no fucker had. He was always average despite Sky implying he's a master of his art. (Better than 'Fletch' of BT but a bluebottle that's just flew into my house is better than Fletcher).

Official attendance: 30,536

I could just see Gove going in the Raby or the Grace, getting a pint while he buys a pouch of Golden Virginia baccy from one of the lerculs.

Was about to call him the Geordie Gove but Gloomy beat me to it. Strange, strange fucker. (That Payne must be a fruit lube too).

'Second family' Some canny sorts I work with but also some borderline scum, wankers, boring cunts, greedy bastards, arselickers and almost unemployables, (but we'll take them via an agency) and finally an almost psychopathic management/HR. I'd take working from home if I had the choice, thanks.

Didn't fancy sharing the touchline with Colin again what with few cameras about.

Hammered 5-1 so they call off the follow up game? Why? Also, why is it a good call? We are so fucked and this knacker rather than voice concerns or, y'knaa, ask some questions thinks damage limitations on the team and the pudding of a manager is a good idea?

'Fuck the Greek civilisation' being the often forgotten follow up by NWA to 'Fuck the police'.

Many happy returns to both you GUYS!

The bairn missing from North Tyneside has been found dead. She was meant to be in my daughter's class a while ago, not sure if she was still at the same school? Depressing news, what must the family be going through? RIP.

Was in the back of a taxi last night. Naturally the driver thought it was all a hoax.

It's amazing how much those sports direct signs still spoil the ground and how it still pisses you off seeing them.

I'm amazed we're on as much as we usually are. Maybe sky knows we're going to be extra toxic this year? (Especially if fans go back).

The Knight: "Archra, err...Archo.....Artcraft, err....Lazaar! Alreet wor kid? You're looking in good shape, kidda! Think you've a a great chance of getting in the side next season, son. It's Lee, Lee Ryder by the way, top reporter on all things NUFC from the evening chronicle, you might've heard the other players mentioning me? Anyways, do you fancy a quick interview then mebbees meet up once a month for a chat?" Achraf Lazaar: "I'm really sorry, but Lee Marshall sorts out the interviews for players." The Knight: "Nee bother, young'un."