Howmanheyman

As long as they get the hang of this football lark I'm easy.

"It's the way he cooks 'em!"

Dresses like he's in fucking boyzone, wears slippers, no socks, is about late 20s early 30s, is called Callum would've been Josh or something similarly shit, works in a fucking estate agents and probably has never struck a bat in his fucking life. Exactly the sort of wanker I can't abide. Alreet Josh, sorry, Callum?

He doesn't look the type of wanker who's an estate agent. Actually, tell a lie, he does.

Envy and jealousy Sit together like tramps and a daft smoggy Side by side on his keyboard Warlord, my lord why don't we?

Already said to my mates I'll be self flagellating up old Shields Road towards the toon on a match day.

Found it.

I've actually found a picture of him getting that award somewhere. I'll try and find it.

Breaking news.

'Guys'

Anyone see his video call with Jake humphries? He could do with a fucking lightshade, I know that much.

Not sure why, but this reminds of someone running into a Chinese takeaway round my neck of the woods many years ago, bollock naked, wearing only a tache, a manic grin and off their fucking nut and jumping on the counter, laying their knob across it and shouting 'Here! Fucking batter this!'

That's the lad!

What was the name of that bloke who thought Mike Ashley was finally getting the hang of this football lark?

I hope it tasted better than it looks? Hahahaha.

Awwwwwww. Bless.

He was THAT FUCKING HARD!!! And obsessed about Geordies as well as black men shagging Geordie lasses. Weird and thick.

What was that rock hard, Scouse comedian on cruise ships who had a thing about Cheryl Cole and the black eyed peas, called?

That team they're up against.....I wouldn't fancy my chances if someone put a gun to my head and asked me to pronounce it correctly.

Done, but this isn't the most populous forum for NUFC.

A fleet of jeeps arrived at the SoL, Dabizas steps out, wearing shades, surrounded by heavies in suits and approaches a man in a red and off white tracksuit which has seen better days. Nicos: "Are you the groundsman?" Groundsman: "Err....yes." ND: "Great. We're here for your goalkeeping nets. I'm going to hang them on the wall of the new gym that's going to be built at Newcastle United. For old times sake." Groundsman: "Err, has the Don said it's ok?" Heavies and Nikos menacingly approach the man more closely..... ND: "Don, Who?" Groundsman: " Err, I'll get them straight away, Sir. FTM!" Dabizas turns and looks.... Groundsman: "I mean, I'll get them straight away and have a nice day, sir." The fleet of jeeps pull away from the SoL, nets in the back of Dabizas' vehicle, one of the heavies looks back in his rear view mirror and hockles out of his open window in disgust. The opening titles start to roll down and that mackem kid starts to sing about boats signalling the beginning of the first episode of 'Sunderland till I die' series 3.

Charnley in bed after watching that......

I didn't mean it literally, obviously he has to change his clothes so Sue who comes around once a day can put them in his washing machine for him after she's made sure he's cleaned himself up properly including down there.