Howmanheyman

Everton: "Virgil's leg" Mackems: "I'll see your Virgil's leg and raise you Shearer's knee."

Same and same for the injury list which will gradually deteriorate from him walking through the door.

Don't be bringing up one of his fucking Marvel films again, man! I'm not in the mood.

at wolves change strip.

On my wedding day my best man said, 'I know you're getting married, but that's one massive grin on your face!' I told him my soon to be new bride had sneaked round the night before and gave me the best blow job of my life. 'Jammy bastard' he replied. Five mins earlier the chief bridesmaid mentioned how happy my soon to be wife was looking. 'I popped round his last night and gave him the last blow of his life!' she beamed.

I'm glad I've never been in that situation that your granda was in but I think that be my default position as well.

I'm sure he puts his poppy on in front of the mirror in the style of a lass putting on her suspenders in front of her bloke when it's time to buy a new fridge sexy time.

....do birds, suddenly appear, every time, you are near? Just like the seaburn casuals, they long to be, close to you.

"Nurse! Quick! He's having one of his funny turns again!"

David Moe's.

Kane playing a blinder so far. Moyes needs to call it a day, like. He looks sick as fuck every time you see him.

Every fucking team and squad in professional football is a work in progress, man! Why is it that almost every shit manager seems to be full of shit? Is it in their contracts?

Watching the Milan derby, 2-1 at HT and I'm yet to see a shit Serie A game this season. Defending not the best but you can't argue with the entertainment, some well worked goals as well.

Bein sports 11 should have it.

'IT'S THE EU'S FAULT! UP YOURS DELORS etc, etc.' Never seen this coming.

Is it.......

"It's alright, we'll just have to believe in Britain a bit more."

You'll be causing stirrings in the baby carrot department of CT's loins with crack like that.

'I say, Tree! What the bloody hell are they doing up there?!' 'Sorry, Sir, they can't help themselves, sir. It's them unions, sir. I'll work single time on a Sunday, sir, don't know what their problem is, sir? They're not like us, sir!' 'I'm sorry, did I tell you to stop sucking?' 'Sorry, sir. Right away, sir...... slurp, slurp, squelch......'

The Tory voters overwhelmingly voting the public to blame will be blaming certain types of the public, for example, blacks, Muslims, lefties etc, etc. Obviously not be the conmen they elected or themselves, oh no.

I wonder if the Ronny Gill's poetry corner will print it? (It's what he would've wanted).

His name was Essembee Tonight he sleeps well He wasn't asleep in 1970 No tiptoeing across the manky Fulwell. His name was Essembee His light shines on The taking of the Fulwell Was strong in this one.

Likewise!

Ok, that's up to you but personally I don't give a fuck what any Liverpool fan thinks about it. Ditto Man U fans, Spurs or whoever.