Howmanheyman

I could just see Gove going in the Raby or the Grace, getting a pint while he buys a pouch of Golden Virginia baccy from one of the lerculs.

Was about to call him the Geordie Gove but Gloomy beat me to it. Strange, strange fucker. (That Payne must be a fruit lube too).

'Second family' Some canny sorts I work with but also some borderline scum, wankers, boring cunts, greedy bastards, arselickers and almost unemployables, (but we'll take them via an agency) and finally an almost psychopathic management/HR. I'd take working from home if I had the choice, thanks.

Didn't fancy sharing the touchline with Colin again what with few cameras about.

Hammered 5-1 so they call off the follow up game? Why? Also, why is it a good call? We are so fucked and this knacker rather than voice concerns or, y'knaa, ask some questions thinks damage limitations on the team and the pudding of a manager is a good idea?

'Fuck the Greek civilisation' being the often forgotten follow up by NWA to 'Fuck the police'.

Many happy returns to both you GUYS!

The bairn missing from North Tyneside has been found dead. She was meant to be in my daughter's class a while ago, not sure if she was still at the same school? Depressing news, what must the family be going through? RIP.

Was in the back of a taxi last night. Naturally the driver thought it was all a hoax.

It's amazing how much those sports direct signs still spoil the ground and how it still pisses you off seeing them.

I'm amazed we're on as much as we usually are. Maybe sky knows we're going to be extra toxic this year? (Especially if fans go back).

The Knight: "Archra, err...Archo.....Artcraft, err....Lazaar! Alreet wor kid? You're looking in good shape, kidda! Think you've a a great chance of getting in the side next season, son. It's Lee, Lee Ryder by the way, top reporter on all things NUFC from the evening chronicle, you might've heard the other players mentioning me? Anyways, do you fancy a quick interview then mebbees meet up once a month for a chat?" Achraf Lazaar: "I'm really sorry, but Lee Marshall sorts out the interviews for players." The Knight: "Nee bother, young'un."

They usually do.

I'm not a mathematical expert, Rob. Can you help me with a question because I'm stuck. What is 125,000,000 - 17,000? (Asking for 17,000 fans).

Is 'chinese tea eggs' a euphemism you use for something sexual-wise, MF?

In this case real life was imitating art, luvvie. (Sniff).

What are they called then? (Help me out here, Gloomy!)

I'll go one better, I've no idea who AMN is or Holding, never mind Turnabout? I do remember Paul Goddard scoring the winner at Highbury in 87 in front of 17,000 though.

"Gramma's for old London hipster's who've forgotten their roots but know everything about sedgeways but have never SAW the whites of the eyes of certain football firms once back in the day from Charlton's firm among others."

Sunday supplement is, (WAS) atrocious.

I tell you what, I came across le tissier's tweet on this thanking a few people etc and the amount of replies accusing sky of only employing 'woke' presenters from now on or 'certain' types from now on is pretty funny yet sad as well. It's basically gammon central one saying if Morrison gets the job full time he's cancelling sky, not because Morrison is black, but because he can't string a coherent sentence together. A bit like non-black Merson then.

Haim, sweet haim.

Handy for the Coronation Street tour as well. (Bet Lynch's leopard skin matching bra and knicker set a best seller in the Granada set shop which is cunningly made up to look like Dev's superstore and also a special takeaway of Betty's hotpot served from a 'Rovers return' kiosk after a long day walking the cobbles, I say, cobbles).