Howmanheyman

(Open the picture up).

I've no idea, him and a few others are muted. I only found out by a couple of people mentioning it on my feed.

What's going on in the NUFC YouTube/podcast/twitter world you ask? Not much really apart from Wraith having a Q&A thing with yer man Tommy Robinson which will of course get linked to NUFC supporters because Steve Wraith's got plenty of competition these days and needs the attention.

The thick cunts never do very well on here, do they?

All he wanted to do was talk about his beloved story about a NUFC fan going to jail because of relegation, I mean isn't that what playgrounds and forums are for?

Ungrateful bastard.

Ok I'll put you out of your misery. In 2009, Bob Wisheart, a Newcastle United fan from Longbenton was that sozzled after heavily drinking on the Sunday we got relegated at Villa park that he walked into the police station that used to be in Market Street and asked to be arrested to be put out of his NUFC related misery. Unfortunately Bob being a bit pissed combined with the police having no sense of humour ended up with Bob getting arrested for assaulting an officer. He got a short custodial sentence and whilst was in prison had this encounter, I'll leave the rest in Bob's words......"On my first day in Acklington HMP all bravado from my drunken encounter had disappeared and I was genuinely shitting it. I was put in my cell whilst the other prisoners were having their dinner and told I'd have a cell mate so just hoped my cell mate wouldn't be a total psycho. Anyway after dinner the door opened and in walked a six foot by six foot tattooed fucking monster. I said 'alright?' and tried to act cool but he just glowered at me till he heard the footsteps of the screws walking away and then said in a gravelly voice, 'Do you like games?' I replied 'What?' He said again, 'Do you like games?' but a little more louder and a bit more insistent. 'err, aye, I don't mind I suppose....' Then he interrupted me, 'Let's play mammys and daddys!' It was at this point that my heart sank and I thought I was in for a total beasting before he added, 'I'll be the mammy, you be the daddy.' I then thought, ok Bob, this mightn't be as bad as it could be, let's see what happens so I said 'ok then, if you want I'll be the daddy and you'll be mammy.' He then smiled before growling at me as I tried to smile back.....'Right, now that's settled come over here and start sucking mammy's cock'.

I like dogs but there's as much chance of me starting up a 'Steve Bruce fan club' and giving new members a tin badge and signed photograph of bagpuss than there is of owning one. (Hopefully it won't shit all over your house).

Run it off you big Jessie!

"Urin? You were lucky! I used to dream of urin! Mine tasted like the fetid discharge of Uri Geller's cock."

"Newcastle must win to silence Steve Bruce's most rabid critics...."

I'm really sorry to hear that, Rents.

You know how things are going with the PL when you genuinely haven't heard of people getting picked for the national squad. I watch us because you can't not, the rest of the games now are neither here nor there and ingurland have left me cold since at least 1998.

When I was at school we got transported to football games by an old Sherpa van which we found strangely amusing because I'm sure the Papa John's trophy was once the Sherpa Vans cup for div 3 and 4 clubs? It's quite funny they've won it by being in the 3rd and even better they don't get to pollute Trafalgar Square and see their team lift the trophy either so as shite as it is, they haven't even got the 'day out' aspect of it. Shame.

I haven't watched any football since Friday night's abortion but a quick glance at rtg and I'm apparently.....checks notes...... crying into my gravy and my Sunday has been ruined just like Adam Johnson ruined my Christmas. (I wonder if the normal ones on there cringe at some of the patter?)

Spoilt for choice tbh. Copacabana Joe, Shelvey, Krafth, Hendrick, Fraser......

Just posting. I mean, isn't that what any fan forum is for?

Joelinton, copacabana Joe, the new 'jigsaw'.

I wonder if that's the same expression/pose he pulled when the pudding told him he was starting?

Nothing screams shop tea leaf like a can in his hand, no shopping and a big trampy coat weighed down.

You cheek cun! (Night shift posts).

It's true. Everyone else is a bitch who probably only watch NUFC by TV in Singapore.

Who would you consider the best player is for West Ham? Can't answer your questions as I haven't watched enough of you as the PL generally bores the tits off me. I only watch NUFC as it's been hardwired into me for nearly forty years. What do you think West Hams strengths and weaknesses are? Karen Brady and the dildo brothers piss me off quite a bit, especially Brady. They're a weakness. A strength? I don't know, I've never minded West Ham so there must be something there although the ground move has took something away. How do you think Newcastle will get on for the rest of this season? We'll be shit, poor to watch and it'll be a slow car crash whether we go down as our three best offensive players are all injured so where will the goals come from? The manager is the biggest worry even when they're back. What player for Newcastle should opposing teams watch out for? Nobody at present. Are you happy with the return of Andy Carroll? No, especially his contract getting renewed another year. A desperate move by a club who hate signing players. How gutted were you when the recent takeover fell through? Gutted we've still got Ashley, absolutely gutted. I can't put across how poisonous the last 15 years have been and how much he's sucked the life out of the club. I didn't like the idea of who was going to buy us one iota and it wouldn't have sat well at all. What has been Newcastles biggest struggle this season? The holy trinity of Ashley, Charnley and Bruce. Does Steve Bruce deserve the criticism he receives from fans? My first game was in 1983, he's very much a contender for the worst full time manager we've ever had in my time of following us. We all knew what was coming but he's been even worse. I didn't expect the petulance and the massive pet lip. Out of his depth a decade ago never mind now. Do you think you will stay up this season? It depends how long Wilson, Almiron and ASM are out for and whether the duck egg helps them break down by rushing them back. What are your score predictions for Newcastle v West Ham? Always fancy us against you but we'll need those players back, even then it's 50/50 at best. Without them there's no chance of anything unless you're total shit on the day and can't be arsed.

I'm genuinely wondering if he ever read the diaries? They were in TF so there's a fair chance. Is this a subtle piss take from himself or am I giving him too much credit?

He never wrote that, surely?