Howmanheyman

I'd have an Irish passport all day long if the missus could as well. 😔

I'm going to miss half of this match and I'm guessing it won't be the end of the world if I do. That Shelvey quote probably confirms what we imagine our manager, (who's doing a such a t'riffic job), is all about.

There was once a particularly stroppy bus driver round ours and years later I discovered wor lasses father* had been regularly 'climbing aboard' said stroppy driver's wife. *He was divorced from the Mother in law by that time.

Probably checkies used them.

Sounds as plausible as owt else?

Ok.

I saw this pic the other day and somehow it would've been completely erased from my memory had I not seen it these years later.

Luckily never got to experience the blarney* version but I did hear about it.

Looks like the yanks haven't got the memo to never mention the word 'United' after the word 'Newcastle' unlike their sky colleagues across the ocean.

An auld dear goes to the doctor's complaining of discharge. The quack tell her to get undressed, puts the latex gloves on and starts to feel inside her vagina with his finger. "HOW DOES THIS, I SAY*, HOW DOES THIS FEEL TO YOU, MRS BOTTOMLEY?" He asks his rather deaf old patient. "It feels wonderful, Doctor, but the discharge is in my ear!" *He was from Yorkshire.

Everton: "Virgil's leg" Mackems: "I'll see your Virgil's leg and raise you Shearer's knee."

Same and same for the injury list which will gradually deteriorate from him walking through the door.

Don't be bringing up one of his fucking Marvel films again, man! I'm not in the mood.

at wolves change strip.

On my wedding day my best man said, 'I know you're getting married, but that's one massive grin on your face!' I told him my soon to be new bride had sneaked round the night before and gave me the best blow job of my life. 'Jammy bastard' he replied. Five mins earlier the chief bridesmaid mentioned how happy my soon to be wife was looking. 'I popped round his last night and gave him the last blow of his life!' she beamed.

I'm glad I've never been in that situation that your granda was in but I think that be my default position as well.

I'm sure he puts his poppy on in front of the mirror in the style of a lass putting on her suspenders in front of her bloke when it's time to buy a new fridge sexy time.

....do birds, suddenly appear, every time, you are near? Just like the seaburn casuals, they long to be, close to you.

"Nurse! Quick! He's having one of his funny turns again!"

David Moe's.

Kane playing a blinder so far. Moyes needs to call it a day, like. He looks sick as fuck every time you see him.

Every fucking team and squad in professional football is a work in progress, man! Why is it that almost every shit manager seems to be full of shit? Is it in their contracts?

Watching the Milan derby, 2-1 at HT and I'm yet to see a shit Serie A game this season. Defending not the best but you can't argue with the entertainment, some well worked goals as well.

Bein sports 11 should have it.