Howmanheyman

That was our special US correspondent, Gemmill Winchester the 3rd keeping us posted with all the TV stateside.

His foreskin in a rapid movement?

My holidays usually involved sailing on the Galloway Princess!

Just seen this..... Life really imitating art here, mind.

Must be why I've never been.

"Well diary, it isn't just high profile failure managers who get to have a break during the football season, ah fancied a little downtime meself and the stars collided like that time big battling Billy Whitehurst collided with silky Paul Bracewell's knee! Me mam said she was going away to wa caravan in Haggerston castle and did ah fancy driving her up as she had a sore leg herself? Ah said why not and stayed ower forra night. Ah got the auld dear sorted oot and then ah did the only thing ah could really and that was to hit the mahogany at the site bar. Ah gans in and says "pint of moretti, chief" as ah fancied the good stuff. "Wiv anny got fosters and Carli....fuck me! Are you alreet, Lee?" Christ! It was only 'Nervous Nelly', Paul Nelson, one of me old mates! Poor cunt got his name as he pissed himself once when he was arseholed and we let on some gadgie offered him on and he pissed himself, lol, he never knew and it stuck! Anyways after many jars that night he said ahll the visitors were fucking off to Berwick forra pint instead of the bar he was running and he thought it was in danger of shutting doon! Still nervous to this day, ah thought! "Looka, Nelly, calm doon, kidda, the Knight's on the fucking case wor kid, ah'l see what ah can dee, ah'm a high profile celebrity in the toon." After that he calmed right doon. The punter's champion never forgets his people. Lol, laters.

As a left wing troll I take exception to this.

Steady.

I'm almost hesitant to link this and I've no idea what's happening to the lad but true Geordie has actually done a good video regarding the Bruce media wake and hasn't acted a knob or anything. When true Geordie calls you out you know you're really taking the piss.

🎵 It's time to play the music It's time to light the lights It's time to get things started for the Muppet show tonight! Parrrrrrrrrp! 🎶

You just knew this fucking talkshite thing would be a pudding magnet.

She'll work for 'number 10' on the comms but this time in an official capacity.

I can't even get the internet on my PC at work as they obviously don't trust the riff-raff (even if I had the time), they'd have a fit with half this board, mind.

And you were right!! (Oh, that was LM, wasn't it?)

This place really quietens down when you've all clocked out from work, you lazy bastards.

I wish. Victorians don't vote on account of being dead.

Being vetted as we speak. Talkshite: "Name?" Essembee: "Brian" Talkshite: "Surname?" Essembee: "Damaged" Talkshite: "Specialised subject?" Essembee: "May 1970, Sunderland AFC and cowardly acts." Talkshite: "For or against the takeov...." Essembee: "I haven't finished. Attacks on Sunderland chairman, drink driving Sunderland chairman and killing threads." Talkshite: "For or against the takeov...." Essembee: "You heard it here first." Talkshite: "Security!"

Will they have to vet? Majority turning up will tick the duck egg box by virtue of their attendance.

You just know they're deliberately doing this for a certain demographic.

I've a feeling, could be wrong, that most of the NUFC fans who turn up to this talksport thing will either be social media thirsty desperados, have brains like fucking candy floss or a mixture of the two.

Well I've had the opposite where it seems they've went out of their way to be awkward and I can only imagine it's worse now. Last time I was briefly out of work, they had 'bouncers' walking around carrying invisible carpets and had a employee who was being, frankly unnecessarily unhelpful. It got to the point where I wondered were they dying for an excuse to ask for Hale and Pace to come over? I won't go into details and my missus briefly worked there herself many years ago so know there's waste of spaces out there so must be hard dealing with them but that makes it even more a shock when they get 'normal' people in and act the dick with them?

Staggering tbh.