Howmanheyman

I'd never get confused with that, essembee.

Get in!!! (The 'good and proper' bit is the icing on the cake, mind).

Gemmill's face right now looking at TP's post as though an invisible demon is wafting a particularly rancid turd under his nose.

(Open the picture up).

I've no idea, him and a few others are muted. I only found out by a couple of people mentioning it on my feed.

What's going on in the NUFC YouTube/podcast/twitter world you ask? Not much really apart from Wraith having a Q&A thing with yer man Tommy Robinson which will of course get linked to NUFC supporters because Steve Wraith's got plenty of competition these days and needs the attention.

The thick cunts never do very well on here, do they?

All he wanted to do was talk about his beloved story about a NUFC fan going to jail because of relegation, I mean isn't that what playgrounds and forums are for?

Ungrateful bastard.

Ok I'll put you out of your misery. In 2009, Bob Wisheart, a Newcastle United fan from Longbenton was that sozzled after heavily drinking on the Sunday we got relegated at Villa park that he walked into the police station that used to be in Market Street and asked to be arrested to be put out of his NUFC related misery. Unfortunately Bob being a bit pissed combined with the police having no sense of humour ended up with Bob getting arrested for assaulting an officer. He got a short custodial sentence and whilst was in prison had this encounter, I'll leave the rest in Bob's words......"On my first day in Acklington HMP all bravado from my drunken encounter had disappeared and I was genuinely shitting it. I was put in my cell whilst the other prisoners were having their dinner and told I'd have a cell mate so just hoped my cell mate wouldn't be a total psycho. Anyway after dinner the door opened and in walked a six foot by six foot tattooed fucking monster. I said 'alright?' and tried to act cool but he just glowered at me till he heard the footsteps of the screws walking away and then said in a gravelly voice, 'Do you like games?' I replied 'What?' He said again, 'Do you like games?' but a little more louder and a bit more insistent. 'err, aye, I don't mind I suppose....' Then he interrupted me, 'Let's play mammys and daddys!' It was at this point that my heart sank and I thought I was in for a total beasting before he added, 'I'll be the mammy, you be the daddy.' I then thought, ok Bob, this mightn't be as bad as it could be, let's see what happens so I said 'ok then, if you want I'll be the daddy and you'll be mammy.' He then smiled before growling at me as I tried to smile back.....'Right, now that's settled come over here and start sucking mammy's cock'.

I like dogs but there's as much chance of me starting up a 'Steve Bruce fan club' and giving new members a tin badge and signed photograph of bagpuss than there is of owning one. (Hopefully it won't shit all over your house).

Run it off you big Jessie!

"Urin? You were lucky! I used to dream of urin! Mine tasted like the fetid discharge of Uri Geller's cock."

"Newcastle must win to silence Steve Bruce's most rabid critics...."

I'm really sorry to hear that, Rents.

You know how things are going with the PL when you genuinely haven't heard of people getting picked for the national squad. I watch us because you can't not, the rest of the games now are neither here nor there and ingurland have left me cold since at least 1998.

When I was at school we got transported to football games by an old Sherpa van which we found strangely amusing because I'm sure the Papa John's trophy was once the Sherpa Vans cup for div 3 and 4 clubs? It's quite funny they've won it by being in the 3rd and even better they don't get to pollute Trafalgar Square and see their team lift the trophy either so as shite as it is, they haven't even got the 'day out' aspect of it. Shame.

I haven't watched any football since Friday night's abortion but a quick glance at rtg and I'm apparently.....checks notes...... crying into my gravy and my Sunday has been ruined just like Adam Johnson ruined my Christmas. (I wonder if the normal ones on there cringe at some of the patter?)

Spoilt for choice tbh. Copacabana Joe, Shelvey, Krafth, Hendrick, Fraser......

Just posting. I mean, isn't that what any fan forum is for?

Joelinton, copacabana Joe, the new 'jigsaw'.

I wonder if that's the same expression/pose he pulled when the pudding told him he was starting?

Nothing screams shop tea leaf like a can in his hand, no shopping and a big trampy coat weighed down.

You cheek cun! (Night shift posts).

It's true. Everyone else is a bitch who probably only watch NUFC by TV in Singapore.