Howmanheyman

Glory, glory Man United.

Probably from a source.

If they were I take back any criticism.

"Fucking pissing mesel laughing here, like. Ah love the lads, they're ah'll decent kids but yiv got to have done the hard yards up and doon the A1 as part of the 'Toon army' to knaa the score and what the punters want. There'd be fucking H on to be honest with me not getting nominated but Helen Dalby told iz years ago when ah kicked off that ah'd alwiz win it every year so they had to let the other lads have a go but ah had to keep it to mesel so's not to dent their confidence. She even give iz a wink which ah'm fucking sure wasn't just a conspiryan, conspiratery, err not just about this little secret, think it was also a subtle hint that the sword of Ryder might be getting to know the front garden of Dalby if you knaa what ah mean? Lol! Anyways, like the kid who comes last on sports day ah hope they enjoy their token reward. (Ah don't think ah'll come last tbh if me and Hels get it on as ah've had a bit of a lean spell with the fanny because of lockdown an that otherwise yi tahlkin hours!) Laters, Ryder and fucking out!"

LM's young'un?

I wonder if this is the cheese bloke? (But then again, the list of suspects will be long.....)

'strawberry' corner.

I haven't got a clue what you're talking about?

Some boy, Bruce.

"Chilli sauce or garlic, Mr Ryder?" "Are ya having a laugh, Mehmet? Fucking garlic or chilli? Chilli sauce and mek it extra hot because the Knight's nee puff. Garlic on a kebab? Might as well hoy ice cream on it anahl! Remember when Souness stuck his flag on your pitch? That's like you asking me if ah want chilli or garlic sauce! Lol. Laters, Mehmet. Oh, by the way, nice to see yiv still got that signed phurto of Emre ah got you. Contacts, son, yiv got to have fucking contacts. Up here for thinking, doon there for dancing."

Is his aviation partners the airfix Lancaster bombers, hurricanes, spitfires and stukas he plays with when he visits his mam's and tells her he's just looking for something in his old bedroom. ".....And here comes the Lancaster swooping down over the bed mountain and about to land on the rug runway looking majestic with it's new 'Rich energy' logo painted on in painstaking detail by the entrepreneurial genius William Story......Nnnnnneewoww...... listen to those Rolls Royce engines and surely a matter of time before they partner with the energy drink tycoon and....." "Did you say something dear?" "Err, no mum, still looking for an old book."

You know these people with stuff like BA (Hons) MBE, OBE, and stuff like that at the end of their names? The Knight is no different.

"As the clamour grows on Tyneside to get the signing of Joe Willock from London over the line a certain Geremi also from a London club was making that same journey seventeen years ago from Chelsea and swapping the special one for the one you've got to come back for like the McEwan's best scotch advert where the Geordie lad with the Chris Waddle perm comes over the Tyne on a train home looking at the Tyne bridge." Lee 'knight' Ryder TMGRSWY.

Tom's got Peter Beardsley's shirt and I've got an even older one worn by the bloke who kept us out of the third division and this fucker is only after Rondon's shirt? Admin, get on this lads profile before banning him.

"I picked him out because of his dozil, err, dosilly, err his daft accent. Laters, lol."

They'd be dripping like a broken fridge. As for the blokes.......like a babies arm holding an apple.

Ollie Ollie Ollie!!

How do they make a living? The likes of Jones and the rest who pop up on twitter, the odd slot on TV etc, where's their income come from? I'm about to be made redundant in the next year or so and I was just wondering what I could do?

Have you been in my house?

Aye, David Kelly's number 9 shirt.

Shelves in Sainsburys looking a bit more sparse today. People mustn't be believing in Britain enough?

Read today that Bruce wanted to involve Grealish as a makeweight in a bid for a Boro striker when he was there.

My Dad has had about twenty five years of reading the mail and it shows. I've got to change the subject and this was never him. He actually said the words 'do-gooder lawyers', 'left wingers' and something about an immigrant knocking over some old lad and not getting deported. He doesn't do social media so it's only LBC radio and the daily mail where this shit comes from.

I genuinely feel sorry for some of the younger fans today who missed out on this, not even about the football which was just as shit! I clicked on a TF YouTube show for 5 mins before turning it off where three lads were naming their favourite NUFC chants/songs and I honestly didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I heard some of their comments. The poor, poor bastards, (seemed decent lads as well). Jonjo Shelvey songs, Mo Diame songs which etc. At least we had the consolation of a great day out.

Anyone?