Howmanheyman

I was going to superimpose Ryder's head on that picture but it would've ended up looking like a whoopee cushion. /Gemmill

I'm sat outside a cafe in Milan sipping an espresso but the lad hasn't came with my gazzetta Dela sport yet. I'll let you know what's happening later. Arrivederci from your italiano correspondent, keeping the punter ultras happy for their daily fix.

This Bongo-Bongoland across the pond talks about, would any of their players consider playing for Sunderland?

CT's lips vibrating and rippling with the blowing, Denise's nostrils flaring with the thrill of it like the ghost of red rum. (Read this out again but this time in your shed you filthy beast, you).

Wait till CT sees this after all the Denise Welch stuff!

Happy new year to the early flaming drongos! 👍

I bet it does. I. Bet. It. Does. Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. Know what I mean? Know what I mean?

That's one way of looking at it.

I'd be concerned about the game time some of these supposed targets have played, obviously couldn't give a fuck about the money.

Just passed through it really, twenty years ago on a trip to Cozumel island, hard to tell but seemed alright. Also very handily placed for a trip on the ferry to Cozumel which was good back then and I'd recommend going over there at least once especially considering you'll be in playa del Carmen. 👍 Yours, Hastaluegomanheyman.

It's just been on Look North, Taxi Tony crashed into the Boldon power grid whilst driving and tweeting about NUFC, flags, spunkbubbles and la la la's at the same time.

"Fucks sake! You wait ages for a taxi then two come at once!!" "Are you fucking kidding me? It's taxi Tony! Fuck! Let's get the other one." "CT's driving the other one." "Errr......Alreet Tony? Busy th'neet?"

Just watched this clip now. FUC......KING......HELL. I'm not picking on you fish, honestly, but ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?

Sounds reeeeeally interesting. And funny, obviously.

Gemmill's lass/June: "It's so lovely to have you round to our New Year's Eve party, Mr Scrimshaw! Gemmill's told me so much about you, he says you're a total wanker!" Gemmill's boss: "He said what!!??" Gemmill/Terry: "Err, 'Anchor' darling, I said 'my boss is a total anchor of strength to us all in the office'. Honestly Mr Scrimshaw, it's like living with a profoundly deaf person in this house, tut, honestly man, what's an accountant supposed to do these day? Hahahaha. Errr....Have I showed you my roomba, Mr Scrimshaw? It's totally cutting edge."

H-8-R.

Well I'm definitely not saying Seinfeld is shit as I've never watched it but having seen the odd clip I can definitely say it does look shit. (Any attention received is purely coincidental).

The Poseidon Knockers @Monkeys Fist

Gemmill's life now turning into a modern reboot of Terry and June. (All that's missing is his boss turning up to the party).

If they played us second game of the season at their place you'd have to feel sorry for any fucker who they cracked on to at their first game from the opposition. 'Fust home gayam of the saysun next week vusus the Saudis and it's the biggest gayam in this division, it'll be like we're the rebels fighting the empire in star wazz, marra. The whole country and championship will be praying we win. Who do you want to win, marra? Ah waz annie jokin before when ah sez yaz wu a shit club and it was ya cup final today playing the lads, like. Ya still must want us to beat the Mags, ah bet ya hayat them anarrl? What? Yav got to meet ya mayats? Ah well, ah'l not wish ya luck today! Lol!'

'What's gannin on?!' You pay good money, you go to the match, it's a big one, it's tight and we're doing ok, you're in the city centre so can have food or drink where you like pre and post game but you spend time while the games on metres away from you watching a shit TV feed paying over the odds for shit food and shit drink surrounded by fucking breeze blocks. Why do they go? Aye, mate what the fuck is gannin on indeed?

Can we prove the separation between covid, normal injuries and bleeding of the ears from Wraith's Christmas song?

Perhaps the more professional of our players could've sourced their own personal football manager as well?

"Wav been a really grayat taym till the ninetayn thurteys but anyways, am gunta write a bewk about the grayat yo-yo team of the sixteys, seventeys, eyateys, nineteys, two fusands, two fusands and tens and err..... aye."