Howmanheyman

Sorry lads, but Jenny from accounts fancies Barbara from HR. She turned the other way when a lad called Dave put her off sex with men for life when he said he felt guilty shagging her halfway through as he thought she was a bit psychologically delicate at the time. She's all about the minge now.

Tux2 memories kicking in, Gem?

Might have been his way of doing a dirty protest at Ashley? (The Dorty bastaaad!)

Does he still say, 'does my drinking offend you?' or has he quietly ditched it now he's doing well for himself?

I wonder which way he voted?

Schar is an absolute liability as well, has been since he's been here. Looks great at times then bang, he puts the opposition away with a great opportunity from nowhere. The best defender I've seen us have but with an uncanny ability to chuck it away with a mega-brainfart was Bramble. Could be amazing all game then become Terry Fuckwit in a heartbeat.

He's now said 'the most extraordinary goal in premier League history' twice. Shelvey's was the same type of goal where they stopped and he scored and they got the lip on when they didn't have a leg to stand on.

Was similar to the Shelvey goal at Sheffield United in a way.

So if I tip £4 at a Chinese restaurant they're not touching it? Cheers, lads!

"Think ah'll put something like...... 'Former toon star, once a starlet for Sir Bobby Robson at the cathedral on the hill, Stephen Glass SHATTERS Matty's SPL dreams.' You just can't buy craic like that, diary. Punter's number one for a fucking reason, believe you, me. Lol! Ryder hit's the back of the net once ah-fuckin-gain!"

Mind, imagine that at Anfield? Ref absolutely relies on the video ref as much for someone else to take the flak and even then the remote ref would bottle it.

Goal all day. The only way it isn't is if Ferguson is still Man U's manager.

"No, no! Trust me, They're definitely going down. There was a great discussion about it on this football podcast I listen to with two great guys who played at the top level."

They might well sack him for being him but unless they get someone as bad as Bruce they're not shit enough for relegation. (Even then they should have still have comfortably enough).

No Christmas dinner last year, you had to go up on your break and get a 'Christmas' sarnie and bring it back to your designated break room. Ho-ho-ho!

No chance Everton are going down.

I'll not moan about the Cheerios this year.

I'm a sitter for 90% of the wipes then finish off standing. (It's more a 'just in case' thing I reckon?)

I wouldn't kiss her under an anaesthetic never mind the mistletoe.

What do you call a shit Mexican at Old Trafford? Chicharito.

You'd have been relegated if he stayed and he knew it, the England job couldn't have been better timed from his POV. The well was dry and your squad wasn't staying up, Moyes shouldn't have been as open about it so early but you just knew he couldn't believe the shit sandwich he was left.

They're revolting alright.