Howmanheyman

KCG's tale reminds me of a joke about a former soldier going for a job interview with Newcastle City council. The manager tells him that he's going to be offered the job as they like to support ex-armed servicemen. He asks if he has any medical conditions they should know about? The former squaddie says he lost his testicles in the Falklands and also has a caffeine allergy. The manager replies, "Ok, that shouldn't be a massive problem for you here. We start at nine and finish at five but you can start at eleven instead." The squaddie asks why? The manager says, "Well here at the council we just sit around drinking coffee and scratching our balls for the first couple of hours so pointless you coming in to be honest."

Not a limbs disability but I do remember a former manager who was a guide for the brewery tours who apparently had a colostomy bag in his side. His nickname was 'The Northumbrian Piper'.

+1 I honestly think any therapist I would see would either slap me or need to see their own therapist afterwards like Dr Melfi.

Heard about a bloke with one leg a little bit shorter than his other leg from someone who worked with them. His head would bobble slightly from one side to the other as he walked. His nickname was 'Sniper's Nightmare'.

You're a very naughty boy!

Howay the Hinnies!

I really hope we get our youth set up as strong as we can as apart from it being a no brainer financially it would be funny as fuck if we drew the mackems again in the Papa John's Sherpa van full members trophy and our U 23 team beat their first team.

Totally get that he might not be player of the season but the difference and balance he's brought to the side has been massive, there's no doubt in my mind that opposition managers targeted our left side but they've had very little joy since Targett arrived and I give him massive kudos for our last minute winner v Leicester.

Can't argue with a few players which is testament to the players themselves and the manager and coaches who've obviously pressed the right buttons. (Can't discount the fact that some players will be knowing the tossing it off days are gone and have refocused their attitudes). Anyway, it's been a bugbear of mine for ages and it's happened in other seasons but under Ashley we've sometimes decided that left backs are a subject that divides football, 99.9% reckon a team should have one and NUFC think we'll be ok without. Our left side absolutely killed us up till Howe coming in and Targett has been solid just about every game at the very least, struggling to think of a time I've got really nervous when he's on the ball and he's a knack of winning possession with tackles out of nowhere. Others will have just as good claims and I wouldn't dispute it really but he's made an absolute difference especially when he's sometimes had ASM in front of him not always being on the ball for helping out.

One of the comments.....'He's wearing Barry Taylor's shorts'

Think it was Roeder's daughter that put that up a few weeks ago? Might've been the anniversary of his death or birthday?

Ban him from the stadium and training ground, FFS.

It's like a Hollywood trailer; Narrator: gipetto was just a run of the mill marra..... [cuts to mackem walking out of his front door, smiling and waving to a a neighbour wearing a red and off-white striped shirt].....Narrator: in a run down, run of the mill, dirty town......[now cuts to him getting on a bus into town going to the match]....... Narrator: but gipetto had a dark secret, unknown even to himself......[cuts to mackem turning up at the Stadium of light and scratching his head looking at the club programme]........Narrator: gipetto was the lost memory man! .....[cuts to mackem again].....Gipetto: "Wheez this? Accrington Stanley? An FA cup gayum in September??"...... Narrator: Gipetto thought that the Sunderland soccer team were in the top division of England and had just beaten their arch nemesis, the Newcastle United magpies by nine goals to one.......[cuts to mackem looking at a newspaper hoarding and seeing Saudi Arabians maybe buying Sheffield United]....... Gipetto: "Theya lukkun at buying Sheffeyld United but not Sunnalin?"

Defoe.

🎶Mammmmmaries, like the corners of my mind 🎵

Sorry Real Madrid, we don't talk to you about Bruno.

I might get fucked to death but I'm willing to give it a chance.....

I hope he supports terrorism better than they support their own tayum, investageyashun or not?

#Pray4Luke

Playing with an actual left back at left back also helped considerably instead of a right sided midfielder and any manager playing against us after the change would've done a Woy.....

'The Mags with theya pathetic flags and PR shit, it's pathetic, everyone hates them anarrl. ROFL.'

🎶Mackems, can you handle this? I don't think you can handle this! 🎵

I don't think this lad could handle our match....

It's mental the things that go on at these lower league clubs. Government really should do something about these snake oil salesman coming in to a club and rinsing gullible, provincial duck eggs who are too thick to see it. Methven and the Don, as well as the French kid must watch the monorail episode of the Simpsons and just smile to each other.