Howmanheyman

First paragraph in the usual Donald Sinden-esque mode however second paragraph veers towards a minor cockney character from a 50's Ealing film but just as swiftly makes a sharp tack* north to finish it in the style of Brian Glover in the slaughtered lamb. Stevie, eat your heart out. *@Renton©

Aye, it's not on, like.

Agree.

Well they're from the same continent.

Zany.

"Hello? Patreon? Ah yes, do you deal with toontastic subscriptions? I'd like to cancel mine. My name? JR Hartley, err, I mean, HMHM"

I haven't seen either Ted Lasso or the Mindy project, I was merely PILLORYING Gemmill's long-winded way of saying it was shite.

FYP

We're being set up for one big fall if he isn't Zico and Zidane's love child after the first five minutes of his debut.

Something fairly similar happened with me and one of the neighbours although he wasn't bragging about it regarding the greatest coach in the premier league. I said he's a Knacker or some such phrase and he said he was a mate he'd known for years and a great lad. He painted a good picture of him so did Ferris in his book so I deferred to his knowledge.

Haven't read it so he's had a very lucky escape but I'll be keeping an eye on him in the future.

Wants the owners of NUFC, who he's compared to Greenwood, (and not for his footballing abilities) to condemn the supporters who grassed him up for his tweet comparing them to Greenwood. Good luck with that. I'm not sure if he sees a bit of a conflict of interest here with huge dollops of hypocrisy?

All I wanted was the national stations and journalists to talk about Sunderland on a regular basis, I mean, isn't that what they do with all the 3rd division clubs?........No? Oh well I'll go and jump in the sea then.

A top notch wanker. 👍

Recording a 'bumper' transfer edition of Newcastle Natter. (After watching half an hour of SSN's transfer deadline show yesterday for the first time in years he couldn't do a much worse version!)

Sid James for PM.

I thought the masters five a side thing has finished a few years ago?

Couldn't get a move he wanted is a decent shout, tbh.

Ramsey must've lost his confidence at Juventus and maybe unsure of himself fearing he might be swapping juve's bench for a PL club's bench? The Italians obviously not impressed with him so I can't help feel he's taken an easy option to be honest.

Have you heard anything, Pete, err, I mean J69? Great stuff! 👍🇸🇦🦓

Got up from a night shift and put SSN on. Fucking hell, it's like some future, dystopian nightmare. Fuck that. I think I'll stick to the rivers and the lakes that I'm used to.

Whoever they get will not be good enough once the honeymoon period ends and the Che Guevara memes get put back in the cupboard.