Howmanheyman

That's because he's a Man City, sorry, Stockport County fan. (I recall him fondly telling of going hand in hand with his dad to watch the citizens at Maine Road a few years ago which surprised me even more when he recently said he was a fan of Stockport?)

Might buy it with McCreery and number 4 on the back and insist with a straight face my Irish tribute shirt story to any mackem I encounter. "It's a fucking Saudi shirt, Marra, Irish my fucking arse!!! Thu having you on, marra, yewse jawdees are fick as fuck! It's fucking sports washing! " "No my good fellow, catch yourself on, I'm afraid it's you who is mistaken, it's quite clearly a tribute to yer men, the Irish Newcastle United players of the past and the Tyneside Irish diaspora in general."

I did assume that was their home colours. I prefer to call the away shirt the Davey Mac/John Anderson Northern Ireland/Republic of Ireland away tribute shirt.

Why the changes of colour in the crest? (Spoils a half decent shirt).

"Didn't have mascarpone, bought my little pony instead which is just so lovely, fluffy and everything!"

"Sooooo you don't have cash money?"

"He hasn't beaten a man in his last 20 games and, err, just get on with it, kinda thing"

Looks like I'm doing cacio e pepe tonight, luckily I've got pecorino in the house but it wouldn't have been a massive problem if I hadn't as there's also dairylea slices I could've used.

It's like a round neck version of this 'Len White' era I was thinking of getting till Toffs stopped doing our shirts?

(I love you really, man!)

Home shirt looks fairly plain but it's more than decent. If there's a panel on the back then I change to thinking it's shit. Need any new sponsor to blend in a bit better with the shirt, if the badges can change colour, (they shouldn't), then the fucking sponsors can.

Have you checked what the XLoc was?

Sort my football viewing out and I'll let you off for your cheek.

I'll give it a listen as long as it's not some bearded hipster saying 'nice one' every couple of minutes and not knowing what to ask and when to ask it or pick up on answers as they weren't there and so miss the nuances but rest assured they'll be on BBC or wherever talking about things and players before they were cognisant of anything to do with NUFC. (His 'Boy on the shed' book was one of, if not the best footballer's autobiography I've ever read).

He's a very frustrating player to watch and some of it comes knowing he could/should be better. He played a beautiful cross onto Wood's head which was a nice change but ten/fifteen seconds earlier he could've played it across the deck which might've been a far better option and a simpler ball. I'm not into XG but I know the times I shout out expletives every time he fucks about and loses the ball for want of either looking up or trying to be world cup superstar. He's got the talent but you also have to factor in opponents sussing him out as well. I'd like to see him develop with the side as for one, he's already here but in the long run the jury's definitely out for me.

Get rid of the lot when Liz shuffles orf this mortal coil, fuck Charles, William, Harry et al. Let's hope the daily mail can find another child to fawn over in a five page pull out than the latest one to emerge through any 'royals' fanny lips.

Get yourself there with a NUFC shirt on and you can be the 'Mag in the crowd' to get them paranoid and upset.

',We are the Sunderland boot boys'? Fuck me sideways! Sad mackem bastards.

I don't know why Sunderland are so bothered about playing in the championship, last time they were in it they couldn't get out of it quick enough?

I must be miles behind.

Can't see anything other than Sunderland going through here. Thought this might be the perfect tie for them. Wycombe at Wembley not so much. If they end up going up there's as much chance of promotion to the PL as us had of qualifying for the CL under Bruce and Ashley.

Not exactly being Nostradamus, like....

Two knobs talking shite.