Howmanheyman

Honestly, Alex, I get the piss taking side of it, obviously but I don't think they're relevant enough to warrant even that!

Watching him on that swing, pretending to like it but thinking, 'Don't fall off and injure yourself, for fuck sake, man!'

I take no notice of shite like this and am honestly and genuinely surprised that others do, especially ten fucking thousand?! I've no idea if twitter has a mute limit but can only assume it's a very high number if they do as I haven't hit it yet.

That Rojas kid had loads of groupies on twitter when almiron first joined, offers of tickets, 'great stuff Roberto' just for tweeting 'good morning NUFC fans' and shit like that. He actually came over for a game and twenty/thirty something year olds were wetting their knickers* talking about Greggs and bollocks with him. Why any attention seekers don't just pretend to be from whatever country one of our foreign players come from and say you're a big Newcastle fan instead of being a wum astounds me. If social media attention is your thing you'll be beating them off with a shitty stick. *And that was just the lads.

He's a thick as fuck, bitter smoggy tbh. Good footballer when he had the occasional bout of fitness.

Lee Bowyer.

Vurnon Anita signing in this scenario.....

Went to his testimonial v NUFC, what a few days. RIP.

My sister watches it so that's a good enough recommendation to knock it on the head. I reckon it would be right up @Kid Dynamites strasse but could be wrong?

In an alternate universe Steve Wraith is tweeting in a Charlton Athletic shirt at different parts of London about how close he is to buying a big stake in their club. (Close call who's got the most money, him or Billy). #Charlton #business #CAFCMatters #ladiesnight #F1 #Vicar

It's good enough for me!

Generally speaking my holiday wankers/nemesis are usually cockney wankers.

Or, if technology has moved on then propose to let them buy nuclear weapons then explain why this can't happen then wait for the penny to drop.

You asked, we listened...... "The prime minister, man, what a fucking lying cunt."

"Hi! I'm Sportswash Ed!"

I wonder why they can't sell shirts without the sponsor? (They did in the 80s up until the first barcode shirt in 1990-91). Keep the sponsor for the actual team shirts and maybe sell some with and without.

Do they do hologram machines I can set up at work so it looks like I'm there?

Iota 1: "Fukkin sicka mags on eeya tryin to get us to buy Pacqetta De Krisps!" Iota 2: "It was me who said it! You carllin me a Mag?" Iota 3: "Neyed to pack this in yew tew, Mag beyhavia this." Iota 2: "Who asked yew, iota 3?" Iota 1: "Right, iota 2, ahll seh ya outside the windmill, seh if yal saya that to me fayace." Iota 4: "Ahd fukkin pummel the lot of ya, just like that mouthy mag ah wuz telling ya about that ah twatted on holida in Rome." Iota 2: "Ya reckon, iota 1? Ya cuddint put the cat out never mind knock me out!" Iota 3: "nar, iota 2, it was iota 4 that said that, marra!"

'.....one iota.....' Is this a massive piss take?

'Fukkin hell, ey sorted that rewe-biks Agbewla cuwe'b out fukkin grayat, like. Gerrin Billy!!! FTM.'

"Start some rumours of a Sunderland takeover to excite and agitate the locals on Wearside. The more frothing at the mouth, the better." "I can get one of our contacts to add a nominal sum on the companies house website so it looks legitimate?" "No need for that, it'll just confuse them. Just put an anonymous post on Facebook from a compromised account with 'FTM' at the end. That'll suffice." "I'll get on it." "Also, while you're doing that, put out a rumour that Take That have snubbed SJP in favour of the Flatpack of Shite."