Howmanheyman

"Listen Gemmill, can you be more pacific, err, spa-siff-ic I mean?"

Smith's on commentary.

I see sky have got the big guns out for this CL rivals clash, Dyer, Danny Rose and Alan Smith.

Dear Bilbao, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance I ain't mad - I just think it's fucked up you don't answer massive lads fans If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your staydeyam You didn't have to, but you could've signed an autograph for Callum That's my little brother man, he's only six years old We waited in the blistering cold for you For four hours and you just said, "No" That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fucking idol He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to Remember when we met in Bilbao - you said if I'd write you You would write back - see I'm just like you in a way I never knew my father neither He used to always cheat on my mam and beat her I can't relate to what you're saying in your tweets about the Mags So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and read 'em 'Cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me See everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7 But she don't know you like I know you Marra, no one does She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose Sincerely yours, Marra Stan. P.S. We should be together, too. FTM. [Dido:] My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be gray, but your picture on my wall It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad Dear Mister I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Massive-Lads-Fans, This'll be the last package I ever send your ass It's been six months and still no word. I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two letters; I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway Hey Bilbao marra, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive? You know the song by Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight" About that guy who could've saved that other guy from drowning But didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him? That's kinda how this is, you could've rescued me from drowning Now it's too late. I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall I loved you, Bilbao marra, we could've been together, think about it You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me See, marra,—shut up bitch! I'm trying to talk! Hey, marra, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk, But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up. See, I ain't like you 'Cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die, too Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the Wear bridge now Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out? FTM. [*car tires squeal, crash, loud splash*]

Those Everton fixtures.....

As MF says. No drinking yesterday as I was a taxi driver last night so about to get up for a piss and have a cuppa but won't stagger to the bog, won't knock anything over and my tongue has no historical resemblance to anyone's flip flops.

That'll be the bog irresistibly calling him at that time, trying not to wake their lass up as he knocks over things in his way as he staggers in the dark unfamiliar surroundings half asleep and still pissed to empty his bloated bladder and drink some water from the tap as his tongue flaps in his dry mouth like Gandhi's flip flops before he staggers back to his pit.

Imagine.

I was at this game. Pure defiance in the away end and in the face of division three opening it's jaws to take us.

He'd have an arsenal Tweety bird flying circles around his head if I had to spend any more than five minutes in his or the shouty prick on that vid, blud, you get me, fam?

'nothing sounds like anfield' according to an advertisement hoarding by Sonos. I doubt there's many quieter stadiums on a Saturday afternoon when they're home to a team they should beat. I think only Goodison comes close. Both decent on a night match, horrendous on a Saturday afternoon.

There's a strong whiff of Sissoko about him at the end of our relegation season. Actually, could be a Wjnaldum as well, decent player, game can pass them by though when you're battling.

Tielemans was robbed for the goal and he's frequently looked very lightweight when I've seen him, he's the antithesis of what we're supposed to be about which is why I'm always sceptical when I see him linked to us.

It's been mentioned before but what must their more sentient fans make of that message board?

I like them all as well, our first and original looks better than the pic a few posts up which doesn't look like a true representation of what was on our shirts in the cup finals then permanently around 1970.

Let them get a win, we'll fuck them up here. It'll be a genuine pleasure.

Fuck. 15 mins injury time.

Didn't know this game was on, put it on at 2-1 waiting for arsenal to equalise watching arteta act the tit, their fans booing the keeper and calling for a pen even for tackles on the halfway line, go for a piss, come back and it's 3-1!

He can fuck not just right off, but left off as well for me.

Can't read it, couldn't give a fuck but note that spurs can't compete with a club who were starved of investment from a malevolent owner while they've been doing canny. I just wonder if he wrote an article bemoaning our situation then, (and to a degree now what with our hands being tied until the rotten fish Ashley left are fumigated and desposed of), or is he just a moaning cockney twat?

🎵We are the CT, The CT family And we are desperate, and we are sad We're force fed bhuna, From Sahib Grossman 'Cos we've got A knacker for a dad.🎶

Snap-ish!

'Welcome to Super Sunday. We've a massive clash in the battle for top four and a champions league place between just Newcastle and Spurs. So Gary, what went wrong in Seville on Thursday night for United? Take your time by the way, no rush we'll be doing a deep dive into the United defeat and the fall out so feel free to ramble on about it, just try and finish by the time Tyler does his 'And it's live' dirge. for the start of the........ who's playing again?...... Oh yeah, just Newcastle versus Spurs.'