Howmanheyman

Have you tried giving @Christmas Tree a shout if you're struggling?

I came into some money this week. I spunked up in wor lasses purse.

Just seen a free paper sitting on the settee and picked it up. WTF is this shit? (Unfortunately this MB won't allow my pics I took of the paper but it's called 'The light' and it's full of conspiracy shite about COVID, vaccines, masks etc). I wonder who funds this as it's been put through the door? Apparently it's a 'people funded paper' Righto. An opinion piece said 'why don't rock bands just do their jobs anymore?'

In a recent survey, when asked when asked what they liked most about oral sex, 30% of men answered 'The feeling' but 70% however referenced 'The peace and quiet'. (I've probably put this on before.......not bovvered).

Little miss sunshine now married with two kids, gets embarrassed when this photo gets shown, swears to hubby the king was 'a great laugh' and nothing happened. Hubby secretly doesn't believe her. If Pardew sees this picture again he'll check if he still has her number and tries to remember which hotel they went to afterwards.

Subtle subtitle update.

Reminds me of this shit old joke.... A very camp tourist dressed up like a cowboy with a pink Stetson on walks into a bar in Texas. Camp cowboy tourist: [speaking very camply] "Sooooo..... where's all the rough, tough cowboys?' Bartender: [speaking in a gruff voice] "You just missed 'em, buddy. They'll probably be nearing Rednecksville by now." CCT: "oh boooo! I'll just get on my little pony and ride over there then." An hour later. Gets off his little pony and walks into a bar in Rednecksville. CCT: [speaking very camply] "Sooooo..... where's all the rough, tough cowboys?' Bartender: [speaking in a gruff voice] "You just missed 'em, partner. They'll probably be nearing Hogsville by now." CCT: "Flipping heck, I just want to meet some lovely cowboys. I'll just get on my little pony and head over there I suppose." An hour later in Hogsville. Camp cowboy tourist: [speaking very camply] "Sooooo..... where's all the rough, tough cowboys? I keep missing them, they're playing hard to get with little old me." Bartender: [speaking in a gruff voice] "They're just over yonder ridge, hangin' some faggot so I heard." CCT: [Gulps, pauses then replies in an extremely gruff and gravely voice]....... "You don't say?"

Alreet, John.

Again, if our stadium is lopsided what is theirs? (And that's before everything else). DERANGED.

Fat Sam walking into his local in Marbella next week.....

I'm pretty sure he was from Seaton Delaval, just like the fish which, when you look at their writing styles and content, starts to make a bit of sense. (Obviously the knight, unlike the fish, knows what the punters want so makes his posts a bit easier to read and throws the odd NUFC chant in his pieces).

Coast boy would be lost in the Golly Wog, MF.

Too late, TP. The scammer's already released the perverted act with you the star of the show..... (It's bad). As an added bonus, (I didn't ask, he sent one anyway) here's one of CT watching Denise Welch on loose women before he starts his taxi shift.....

I thought he was a Liverpool fan? I swear to god these Scouse professional footballers change their boyhood team history at the drop of a hat when it suits them.

I thought our name might've been on the cup that year as I was young and naive and we had a decent side and should've been good enough to give it a go, we did finish 8th. Gutted when these put us out at home. McAllister was very underrated and probably still would be had he not had a spell at Liverpool which instantly makes him more worthy for some strange media reasons, even going back to his Leicester days he had that but of class. Leeds won the title in their second season back up.

"I am the still wandering spirit of the poor bastard budgie that had the misfortune to end up in boldon with CT and now rests in pieces in the ground under his rancid outdoor settee. TBD, well done with my hawk cousins, I hope they get the chance of a great life unlike the purgatory I had living with multi-hobby man who fed me the wrong bait and killed me off all because he couldn't be arsed to Google my diet. Tell wor lass the money's in the tin and I love her and my little budgies."

Does this Felix lad say stuff like 'el catedral en la montaña', Diego? If so I think he has an English cousin...... '¡Hola, mis apostadores leales!'

Is there some sort of graphs for the 'errrmm, well, errrmm' comments from Charlotte? (Asking for wykiki).

Minds? Box?

Apparently shite?