Howmanheyman

It's a well known fact that a Sunderland fan founded Bilbao as well as many other clubs around the world but the Saudi led Magedia hushed it up as THEY COULDN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH. The Saudi led Magedia discussed amongst themselves how they were going to cover it up before getting off the M(ag)etro at Byker and going into Gregg's on Shields Road. FTM.

Tindall would be at the other end taking the piss whilst giving the thumbs up with both hands as she's piping him off, nodding his head with a daft grin like Ben Dover.

My lass fancies Captain America.

He must be a Mag!

I watched the Rome derby earlier on. Superb atmosphere, niggly as fuck with a sending off, a disallowed goal, more coaching sending offs then fuck knows how many sent off after the game finished. Great stuff.

I've never really changed my opinion on Southgate, he comes across a young version of Roy Hodgson, the players like him I'm sure and he's sincere enough but he was largely mediocre at Boro in club management and I'm not convinced England will ever win a thing with him although we've been close which is to his credit, I just don't think he's got the winning mentality at the end of the day and would I fuck want him here, would anyone on here have him here? I couldn't really give a fuck about England so I've no real grudge against him on that score.

Hadi's lass: "Are you still on that zoom call?" Hadi mutes it: Hadi: "Honestly, pet. This cunt won't fuck off, I've told him there's no evidence of links between his club and ours and we couldn't give a fuck anyway even if there was, if he's not emailing links to his town he's emailing links to netflix and a TV programme even though I've told him we don't have netflix. I've been nice but he's getting right on my tits. I wish he'd fuck off to be honest, love." Hadi unmutes the call: Mackem: "........and in 1924, Bob, having returned to Sunderland said he spoke to a Basque lad out there who was canny sure the strips were the same as the 1915 ones from Sunderland but wasn't sure how they got through what with the war being on......" Hadi: "Qué es estan? El grande lion en mi casa! Run wor lass!!" Hadi turns off the call, takes a breath and puts the TV on. Not netflix. Hadi: "If the phone goes don't answer it."

Well done, you'll get asked loads now.

Desperate Dan. Desperate Fan.

His breath stinks of shit.

Tell him his breath stinks of shit and you can smell it from your phone.

I get stressed out cooking for four.

Silly old cunt, if it was my dad driving outrageously slow and some charva on a moped give him a bit of stick he'd have just laughed at him and said to him, 'hey man, you stupid bastard' in a daft American accent. (Yes, he did this when he was taking the bairns to school a few years ago when I was at work).

Bloke died in the brewery after falling into a twenty tonne beer tank. It was a slow death as he ended up crawling out five times for a piss before finally drowning.

Bloke suspects his missus is having an affair so he pretends to go to work but goes on a drive before returning an hour later. Lo and behold he he sees movement upstairs so he lets himself in to hear their lass screaming in ecstasy, he goes ballistic, grabs a knife lying on the bench, runs upstairs and sees his pal giving his wife a good scudding. Blinded by rage and hurt he plunges his knife in the ex-pal and as his mate slumps to floor dead his missus says, 'Well if that's how you're going to go on you'll have no mates left!'

"I'm not saying they panicked but their arseholes were twitching like a bunny rabbit's nose, Jeff."

"There's been a late, late goal at Southampton, but who's it to, HMHM?!" "Equaliser against Spurs. Giddup!"

Poachers goal from Kane.

Tell them they should've manned up in 1984 instead of caving in.

Nice through ball from Maddison.

Would've been a pretty flat atmosphere after last night's result so Luton will have every chance.

Battle of the shit slow 'when the saints/spurs' chant. Who can go the slowest?

Southampton equalise against spurs.

Likes his music apparently......