Howmanheyman

Ethel at the old people's home helped Arthur to get to sleep by sneaking into his bed at night and holding his family allowance till he fell asleep then she'd go back to her own bed. This was a nightly occurrence but one day she visited Arthur to tell him she'd be visiting her son and his family for a few days. 'But what about you holding on to my John Thomas till I go to sleep?' Arthur asked. Ethel replied, 'Don't worry, I've asked Dot to stand in and she said she doesn't mind helping.' When Ethel returned, Arthur asked to have a word, 'Ethel, if you don't mind I'm going to have Dot helping me by holding on to my one eyed snake.' Ethel didn't mind too much although was slightly hurt. 'What has Dot got that I haven't?' She asked. Arthur replied, 'epilepsy.'

El Classico Eastendico.

Beat me to it, BD. But you're not quite right, she said, "Where eez zis famous Newcastle lover, Haw-Hee-HawmanHeyman? I want him to impregnate me or die trying."

Philippe AlSchar.

Welcome on board ya flamin' bunyip!

Brian Stein? (OG). That cunt with the headband*? (Another OG). * Foster, the one who Gazza and KENNY Wharton wound up by taking the piss and KENNY rounding it off by sitting on the ball.

I haven't heard anyone say 'stand up and fight' as much as this fucking idiot since I watched status quo on top of the pops singing 'you're in the army. Now.'

I can't believe you didn't ask her if she knew UM? A school boy error, Alex.

I don't disagree with that but one or two are definitely giving us a little pat on the head.

'I see. Is this 'mate' in the room with us now?'

'The Kenny' Gemmill laying his booby trap right there.

Carragher was enjoying himself but there's a bit of a condescending tone underneath the surface, 'Yous like a Gregg's up here'. A pastie or a sausage roll.' 'do the dance, we'll do it with you.' Aye it's just a laugh but imagine a cockney ex-pro interviewing him, 'ere, Scouser, you lot laahve a bit of Beatles mania daahntcha? Go on my saan, sing me sergeant peppers lonely hearts claab, I'll join in, daahnt worry.' Or how about, 'Excellent game in midfield today, Roy. You single handedly won that midfield battle for Manchester United, but you love the old blarney don't you, eh? Eh? Why don't you give us all a little Irish jig, I'll join in. Gwaan, gwaan, gwaan. Lol.'

Murphy and Anderson's faces, man.

At my mate's shed/bar, got home a bit pissed around eleven, watched YouTube videos of everything I could see about the match. Didn't get to bed until 01.35. Had to be up at 05.15. Reminds me of a very similar timetable to the original Barcelona game. Fucking brutal but worth it.

Not at work but had one come into my timeline and he was the same. Liverpool are the same as Man United. If you've met one of their non-local fans, you've met them all.

Even that kid thinks it was a red card.

"If sir would just like to put his balls on the counter then I'll sharp have them off."

1-2 in Naples.

The daughters just had a photo with Daveed G at SJP about an hour ago at some medical talk being held there they were at. Wife and my sister both seem to think it's great but with a big dollop of jealousy in the background.

1-1 in Naples.

Napoli 1-0 Real Madrid #Ciaomanheyman

Taco Taker to Taa'kin Shite?

For some reason the Gammon's really don't seem to like his historical musings?