Howmanheyman

If I don't post for a bit I'm just in the back garden building an Ark to save us all from the flood of tears that's been happening these last few hours.

I hate to put a damp squib on our last two victories against Man U away and Arsenal at home but...... Sad

Fuck me sideways, the Spanish square bonce has posted this on his Instagram account, the fucking sore losing, classless cunt.....

We went to Bournemouth with the old magpie travel and apart from heavy traffic from some fire in the new forest our driver also managed to go the wrong way and have to turn around adding yet more time on to the journey. We only got there with ten minutes left to play. An absolutely SHIT trip and we also got beat.

Newcastle doesn't need a county put after it, you just add 'Upon Tyne' to let people know which Newcastle it is. (If they don't know what or where the Tyne is then their ignorance is on them).

Alex finally getting the hang of this CT lark.

I was interested in maybe having a punt on wolf jerky but after some due diligence and discussion with my accountant and investors, (wor lass), I decided not to proceed. I wish wolf jerky and it's loyal punters all the best of luck and hope they don't end up with an investor like Storey again.

Get the fuck in!!! 🎵 'we can see you sneaking out' 🎶

When my place shuts I'm breaking in when we play midweek.

Just heard miggy's goal on my break AT WORK.

With the injuries, suspensions and schedule I don't really fancy us tbh. However, I will say it's no extra time and I'm at work so.....

He's basically a carrot short of a casserole.

Dean's perspective on this chat at the Newcastle store..... "Hi Dean, I'd like to buy a guitar from your shop but I must warn you, I drive a hard bargain."

That's a bairns kit so he's basically calling all the bairns arseholes.

He's a fucking knacker that kid, mind.

I was specifically told don't do anything with your hair as I was forever fucking about with it and moaning as I was afflicted with a cows lick.* Anyway, on the morning I thought I'd put a bit of gel on and basically had a choirboy centre parting which the wife still whinges on about now and then twenty three years later. *Now I'm just afflicted with bald patches so shave my head. The cows lick is still there if I let it grow. That cunt's going nowhere left to it's own devices, it would survive a ground zero nuclear bomb.

Neville's obviously going to be pissed off but even Drury almost stopped commentating not long after the second, they're fucking GUTTED. And the third goes in. Never mind.

So in conclusion, American sitcoms, big on smart fanny, not so much on humour.

I think sky, other than Richards, want Man U to win.

Zero coverage of the West Ham v Everton game as it's straight on to the manc derby. The other week they were still going on about the London derby virtually up to our KO.

Alexa, give me a visual representation of the rest of toontastic looking at Gemmill as Everton beat West Ham away.....

"What the fuck is this?" "It's an old Bournemouth message, it means Hall and Livramento train with the fishes."

Pope needs to sort out when to punch and when to catch. Credit to the wolves lad for the finish but that was a classic fuck up that gave him the chance. Should've probably got a third at the end but we were on our feet. Unnecessarily giving the ball away probably coming from fatigue in another downpour game in three days. An away win would've been a superb result in the circumstances which I said pre-game. Painful listening to the two chumps on the mic, Goodman is such a fucking cock.

He made some good interceptions early on and good covering. We've given the ball away far too cheaply at times mainly Tripps. Very early on a good triangle passage of play but almiron through near the corner and the air turned blue round here as instead of a first time cross on his right foot he stops the ball and comes back with it this negating the passage of play that put him in, in the first place. Frustrating as fuck when he does that.

Put sky back on, the difference in tone by Goodman for our soft pen to the supposed handball by Bruno. Trippier having a stinker tonight. There's no way they can say it's an obvious error for the pen as much as they were trying to.