Howmanheyman

It'll just be some misunderstanding like when one of the bairns mishears something granpa said.

Gets him out the house, she won't mind.

"Get our usual source of misinformation to announce we've no money to spend or substantially less than we have." "Won't he become suspicious if we keep feeding him duff information?" "It's Luke Edwards, he loves pissing on fans chips almost as much as Craig Hope." "Lol."

Michael Oliver the ref. NUFC/Saudi/ Mysterious cabal of Tyneside businessmen's fault. West ham official twitter feed to be overrun by irate African arsenal fans who know as much about arsenal as I do about the best plumber to call in Lagos.

Certainly, Sir.....

I was just saying to the wife how burdensome these 750ml wine bottles were just the other day. I'm sure bottle manufacturers will retrospectively alter their production plants to accommodate it and the vintners will be happy paying to alter their bottling lines. And of course Mr and Mrs UK will be dying to buy a smaller sized bottle for what would probably be roughly the same cost. Excellent work, Tories!

Penelope Cruz and Cameron Diaz were outstanding in that film.

We won't forget him that soon.

Apart from her being a professional costume dresser with a slight posh speech impediment, she's also surprisingly decent at history.

I think in the next window or two we might need to upgrade on miggy but not sure if you'll agree on that one, don't shoot me if you don't?

I thought there was something wrong looking at the empty spaces at both ends at Stamford bridge?

Anyway, barely sat down in the bar yesterday when one of my mates said, 'Are you working yet?' I told him I wasn't before he slowly looked away and said 'Fucking lazy cunt.' Which made me laugh.

I hadn't heard of it till now. Cheers, Alex.

Need a spirit of '88 vibes when we inexplicably beat them at anfield when; A. They were very good and B. We were very shit. If we can do it with that side......? (Jokes, we're getting the usual defeat).

We used to request to be away on boxing day under the Ashley regime until the last couple of years as I think amongst other things it was a slightly higher expense or so they believed? Plus they were cunts of course. Think it was Llambias that let the cat out of the bag or it might've been penfold?

Or..... "Wallsend high street? You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious."

Was never a fan. Going to have to be a very quick three S's, just made a full English then out on a Leo Sayer. Unfortunately it's going to be in Wallsend for reasons unfathomable to me but it gets me out. Let me know how Lee Marvin and co get on?

Don't worry, once you start you just carry on and the alcohol does it's thing, it's like that Billy Connelly joke about pulling out as your about to blow your load, 'a rope around my waist attached to a team of ten horses pulling in the opposite direction aren't going to stop me'.

Last time we waited so long when the bairns were still getting toys I was foaming having to do the Christmas dinner around teatime and they were all starving. Tbh, I'd rather they just all come here and I make their dinner but wor lass didn't want it as it was our day with the kids. She's now denying all knowledge of this thinking.

Houston we have lift off, repeat, we have lift off. (My hearts not in it now, tbh).

Dinner done and cleaned/cleared up. waiting for parents to come around, still can't have a drink as after they've went I've got to drive us to the in-laws who we were supposed to see this morning before dinner. Every fucking year this shit. By the the time everything's done I can't be arsed. Bah! Humbug.