Howmanheyman

He's a fucking knacker that kid, mind.

I was specifically told don't do anything with your hair as I was forever fucking about with it and moaning as I was afflicted with a cows lick.* Anyway, on the morning I thought I'd put a bit of gel on and basically had a choirboy centre parting which the wife still whinges on about now and then twenty three years later. *Now I'm just afflicted with bald patches so shave my head. The cows lick is still there if I let it grow. That cunt's going nowhere left to it's own devices, it would survive a ground zero nuclear bomb.

Neville's obviously going to be pissed off but even Drury almost stopped commentating not long after the second, they're fucking GUTTED. And the third goes in. Never mind.

So in conclusion, American sitcoms, big on smart fanny, not so much on humour.

I think sky, other than Richards, want Man U to win.

Zero coverage of the West Ham v Everton game as it's straight on to the manc derby. The other week they were still going on about the London derby virtually up to our KO.

Alexa, give me a visual representation of the rest of toontastic looking at Gemmill as Everton beat West Ham away.....

"What the fuck is this?" "It's an old Bournemouth message, it means Hall and Livramento train with the fishes."

Pope needs to sort out when to punch and when to catch. Credit to the wolves lad for the finish but that was a classic fuck up that gave him the chance. Should've probably got a third at the end but we were on our feet. Unnecessarily giving the ball away probably coming from fatigue in another downpour game in three days. An away win would've been a superb result in the circumstances which I said pre-game. Painful listening to the two chumps on the mic, Goodman is such a fucking cock.

He made some good interceptions early on and good covering. We've given the ball away far too cheaply at times mainly Tripps. Very early on a good triangle passage of play but almiron through near the corner and the air turned blue round here as instead of a first time cross on his right foot he stops the ball and comes back with it this negating the passage of play that put him in, in the first place. Frustrating as fuck when he does that.

Put sky back on, the difference in tone by Goodman for our soft pen to the supposed handball by Bruno. Trippier having a stinker tonight. There's no way they can say it's an obvious error for the pen as much as they were trying to.

Switched to the PL feed to escape Goodman and it's fucking beglin with the commentator already banging on about Saudi Arabia, green strips.

Looks like ex-wolves and Sunderland Don Goodman will be doing our game.

Joselu sitting next to Modric on the bench.

I'm watching Barcelona v Real Madrid as there's only two 3 o'clock games and I don't fancy watching any of them. Plus I also want to see which of the Bellingham brothers is the better, Sunderland's Bellingham or Madrid's Bellingham? (Didn't realise they're not playing at the camp nou this year?)

So he's left Downing Street for Currynation Street?

The second Brentford goal really needs the Benny Hill music added to the footage.

"So when do you think this need for fans of other clubs to be your 'bestest friend in the world, evah' start?'" "Look, all I wanted to know is if they hated the mags anarrl, I mean, isn't that what all football fans do?"

I hope we beat these but I think 1-1 might be the best we get today, they must be knackered and our sub options are dwindling a bit. It'll be an amazing result if we get three points today considering the schedule and injuries and suspension.

'voice of Joe cole' pops up on the screen and you never guess what? He's not lauding Brentford.

Brentford run the ball into an empty goal in the last minute of injury time with the keeper running after him.

If it's such a friendly game why did one of their orcs attack a young boy who was with his younger sister outside carrow road a few years ago?

Real concern and worry from the TNT commentary team that Chelsea are getting beat by Brentford at home. It's approaching 90 minutes, the commentary team will explode with relief if they equalise.

My dad worked for them. Used to shunt busses and pick up fucked ones. Tight cunts apparently. The wedding, my young cousin is Irish but moved over for university because apart from it being potentially excellent she also had her aunt, my mam and family, to help out if she got stuck. Anyway, she stayed, met a nice lad, got married today etc. End of the night, no outward sign they're mackems at all, just friends of theirs being office types to their core as well as having a shit taste in music, no worries, was great catching up with Irish relatives I haven't seen in years. Anyway, didn't give it a second thought until kick out time, all of a sudden, half the twenty/thirty somethings started singing 'wise men say' but never said the 'Sunderland' bit at the end. Don't know if they were told not to but they were pissed and couldn't stop the early bit. Verdict. Mackem bastards.

Going to a wedding soon, apparently the groom and family may have pommes frites fromages inklings. I'll be keeping an eye on them.....