Howmanheyman

Chelsea though....

I'd love them to both lose. I'll not be watching it.

An improbable double would be lush, we're not finishing higher than seventh, can't see us winning the cup unless the favourites get knocked out by someone else so we just do the best we can, hopefully gradually get some players back without losing anymore and regroup in the summer. Beating these moaning cunts with nothing to really play for would be..... But we'll get beat, probably be closer than we think but can't see the current problems not getting exploited down there by their lot.

The secret diary of monkey's fist, aged 56 1/2 Well diary, there I was again. The seconds rolled into minutes, the fine drizzle started to pool up and I was getting wet. I stood on the kerb looking at the shop door, I'd waited for a wifey to come out so I could go in and buy this exxxtra special razzle with luscious Liz's breasticles on display but as she left and I was about to cross the road an auld cunt came from nowhere and walked in. I cursed and thought to myself, 'haven't you got a coffin to stop avoiding, you walking fucking advert for euthanasia?' but decided to just walk into the shop anyway and wait in there for the Percy Sugden lookalike to fuck off. I pretended to look at the newspapers on the bottom shelf as 'Perc-eh' was paying up. The newsagent gives him the change but then the auld cunt starts talking! 'fucking get out of the shop before anyone else comes in you fucking coffin dodger' I think to myself. Finally, finally he fucks off. I'm surprised nobody else has come in but it's dull, cold and wet so my luck's in. I reach up, using my wide hobbit-like feet for extra leverage groping for the razzle magazine with Liz smiling on the front cover with a banner covering her tits imagining what lies underneath? I quickly pay the the bloke whilst not making eye contact, pick up the dirty mag and stuff it into my coat then evacuate the building. I'm out! I get to the car then it's back home. Everybody is out so it's just me, Liz and Rosie Palm and her five daughters. The Steve McQueen's get dropped as well as the hondacrackas and I'm quickly going to page seven to where Liz's fiscal assets are going to be displayed. I open page seven and....hang on a minute, that's not Liz? I look at her and then the name and it says Liz Trusses! The fucking conning bastards!!! It was just a parody spread! All that fucking subterfuge at the paper shop for fuck all. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I just squinted my eyes a bit and gave it six nowt anyway. Whey, unlike Liz I can't just chuck good money away, can I? The Simian's fist got it's money's worth. Lol! Laters."

On ashworth and Ratcliffe, may their arseholes seize up and their balls fester.

I often find a 'Are yee for fucking real?' Followed by a gentle explanation gets the point across in an understanding way. (They understand by the initial sentence they've made a tit of themselves).

"Just send him a video of the netflix series on us, he'll be tearing the head off it in no time and gagging to be the lads manager. Get O'Nien to do a welcome tweet or something. Our global fanbase will love owt like that. FTM."

If he's a 10/10 sporting director I'm sure they'll have no trouble or qualms about paying a 10/10 compensation fee to get him on board.

He's not alone if he is getting access. I love NUFC but there's parts of it that leaves me not giving as much as a fuck as I used to. (Other than 90 mins a week).

There's fans can't even get in the ground yet the club seems to bend over backwards, (or so it seems) to let the likes of Pearson walk around the training ground talking to players? Wasn't he and a few others invited over to Saudi on one the training camps as well? I won't be the only one seeing shit like this and thinking 'you're doing yourselves no favours here'.

TNT have a strange idea of pundits. Put inter v A Madrid on and it's mcmanaman commentating with Joe cole and Michael Owen in the studio.

Blackpool voted leave and Tory? I wonder how that's worked out for them? Must Utopia by the sea at this point.

Auld cunt tbh.

They were the best team in that tournament and deserved winners, in Europe you had AC Milan with the trio of Dutch in their side Ruud, Van Basten and Rjjkyaard, Inter took the Germans, Klinsmann, Lothar Matthaeus and Brehme. Both won the scudetto with those players as well as the rest of their somewhat talented squads. Sixty three is no age though.

He might have a point, don't hold me to it!

Knows the square root of fuck all.

It's a pity 'The town hall clock' wasn't consulted about the magic bullet theory regarding the JFK assassination in 1963. His expertise in angles would've been invaluable and his demonstrations would've convinced everyone.

No idea but it wouldn't be a surprise. The first fixtures of the season they took half an hour to mention the last minute penalty that wolves didn't get. Carragher took one for the team, ,(Neville) to say he wasn't sure and didn't think it was. It was largely brushed over. Other way around they certainly don't beat around the bush. It's not a story when it's the 'other' team in these games. It very much is the story if it's against the usual suspects. It's all they fucking talk about afterwards.

He's not lucky. He plays for one of the clubs where refs and VAR will look for ways not to give a decision against them or ways to help them as they're shit scared of the repercussions if they don't.

Glad I turned it off.

He looks like he's got a split second to make sure he gets out of the way/thinking he might be offside/doesn't handle the ball for the second but Neville thinks he's carefully aiming a chest shot into the bottom corner?