Howmanheyman

At the time we got Gordon I had every confidence that he'd be a great signing as they seemed to be pulling them off at will and the kid had that annoying thing as an opposition fan of being someone who is a little cunt playing against you but a favourite when he's on your side. He's improved and grown into it as anticipated by those who hopefully know these things and I'm over the moon we've got him. We haven't done too bad with scousers in past when it was maybe more luck but this kid is top notch and barring injuries can't see that changing too much lf I'm being honest.

This Awad, never heard of the cunt but he's the modern Eusabio according to sky.... "Obviously."

Just put this on at 2-1 to Bournemouth. Fully expect an away win if they've been shite?

Ruined.

Commentators talking about how good Schär is as the camera pans to him on the pitch as he's chatting away to the Spurs forward.... "I am terribly sorry, my friend, were you thinking of getting past me? Don't mind me as I just move past you with ease and play in our terrific blonde, Liverpudlian urchin fellow on the wing. Ciao."

Ruined their weekend again. Lush.

The best thing you can say about Schär is he looks like he could play whilst smoking a pipe, being class and still not spill any baccy.

Stick to the spreadsheets, lads.

Don't know about wasps but you can tell it's that time of the year again, unbelievably got stung by a bee leaving Sainsbury's yesterday. £5.99 for a fucking jar of honey!

Just sitting on my break with sky news in the background, just saw a clip of a grinning Klopp giving a Liverpool shirt to a sports presenter with 'Jacqui' on the back and she's squealing like a little girl shouting 'no way!' before hugging him. She's been around for years and is an experienced sports journalist. Think I've just added a little bit of sick to the cappuccino I was drinking.

Why does Bilbao black cat think Graham Milton is annoyed with him? He's clearly laughing at him like everyone else is?

Priest: "Son, do want to give me your confession on your deathbed?" OJ: "Yes, father. I actually did murder my wi....." Priest: "Yes, we know that one, anything else before you go?"

Mike Ashley reading that....

Watched the original Star wars from the 1950s, here's the trailer for it......

Aye but the manager thought you were from the Newton and Ridley brewery secretly assessing his bar so was on his best behaviour.

I'm taking the week.

He was feweming and decided to boycoutt the shop and shout abuse at it after he'd been ejected from the premises but rayalised that could be constrewed as mag bayhavior so got himself so confewsed working out a solewetion to his problem he went home, informed his fellow MLFs then spontaneously combusted with frustration.

The quality of sky's pundits and guests are second to none tbf. Bruce, Clinton Morrison, Dawson, the fat Scottish striker for Rangers, Merson, Sue Smith's useless twin, (Lee Hendrie), the Scouse referee and that's just the ones off the top of my head and I hardly watch it. Their crown jewels are the tedious Neville and Carragher and they're only on for the fellation of Liverpool and Man United fans.

Le Tissier would make a tremendous MLF if he finds some kind of family link?

@wykikitoonfilmed on one of his nice, quiet bike rides around t'Yurkshu where he's just minding his own business and really enjoying life UNTIL SOME CUNT GETS IN HIS, I SAY, GETS IN HIS ROAD, LIKE.

Only ones I know is Alan Rough, Kenny Dalglish, Danny McGrain and Willie Miller. The others look vaguely familiar but can't pin them?

Desperate Dan Desperate Man

JFK: "Which one's St. Peter?" St. Peter: "Me." (You know the rest).