Howmanheyman

'Secret Santa' Can you not just politely refuse to get involved on account of you having a penis and testicles?

So he's got no balls to stand by his words as well as being a whinging cunt?

TBF, he was a lot more Quint from jaws than Rees-Mogg.

Was a pleasure to meet and chat with @thebrokendolllast night before the game, good crack indeed but I was expecting a gnarled, weathered old sweat but he was actually a well spoken chap, not too dissimilar to Jacob Rees Mogg in looks and speech.

If someone said there's a work's party in London you'd be well within your rights to ask why and even more within your rights to politely say fuck that.

(They now think I'm Newcastle's numero Uno ultra and TBF, are they that wrong to think so?)

Walked past a few Italians already whilst I'm waiting for @thebrokendoll. I greeted them Paulie style by saying 'commandantori'.

You've absolutely slaughtered my joke there, MF. Slaughtered.

Brooklyn 0* more like. * Based on the times I've seen it.

I've missed out on all this stuff, only Christmas parties I've been to were my wife's work for a couple of years plus one when I was a YTS. We think our eldest was conceived at one of them but luckily I was there!

And here's the picture he took a shine to.....

You can just say, 'Whey, I'm away, see you later.' and simply leave or you can add the optional 'this is shite' in between 'whey' and 'I'm away' but that's just personal preference.

Vaguely rings a bell.

Turned off this Man U game, Bayern just going through the motions.

'Fletch' fucking desperate for Man United to get something here.

The simply splendid for the outdoor life was there as well. Can't remember seeing the other one in there?

It's definitely real, it was in the reception entrance of the new bottling hall when I worked there!

As it's nearly Christmas, let's embrace the spirit of this old broon ale advert.

Me too, I had a picture of the magpies/castle crest with one of spongebob's smoking magpies on either side of the crest.

You try taking a photo of your upper arm, it's not easy, I don't know how lasses do these selfies without breaking stride?

Bring back the ghosts of saint and greavsie with cameos from Alan Parry, Does Lynam, David Coleman and Bob Wilson*. *Bob's only on because he used to tip us to finally win the cup again as we're a traditional cup side.

I haven't watched one of those challenges yet and try to blank out the bloke on the mics shit crack. HT is strictly for having a piss with an hour's worth of beer sloshing around in my bladder built up from the last pitstop in one of the local hostelries pre-game.

I couldn't understand how lawrenson lasted as long when he sounded so bored and sick of his life just being where he was?