Howmanheyman

If Ashworth had got just got pissed one night instead and sent NUFC a photocopy of his cock by mistake it couldn't have been any better than this. Hopefully there's also proof the man city bloke who was meant to be on gardening leave was under instructions from Ineos Ashley.

What if it was Bruce?

Great thread this and now I fancy watching it again with the nostalgia hit of these tweets.

Well, I was just visiting my folks who've been unwell and just around the corner from their street something stopped me right in my tracks and I had to pull over and take a picture. A classic example of life imitating art...... It couldn't be, could it?

Can you imagine them 'selling' one of Liverpool, Man U or Arsenal's star players? Me neither.

Hope not.

Plus we haven't seen the back of the shirt yet!!

Adidas had some ropey shirts for us as well as a few classics but the younger fans on twitter don't seem to recall them? I don't think that's particularly good especially considering the shit about being one of their 'super clubs' and it being the first shirt they've done for us in years, I was at least thinking they'd do a bespoke one for the first shirt in their new era of supplying us. Said it for years, the most consistent supplier we've ever had for classic NUFC shirts was umbro, (home AND away).

Fish and klopp walk into a bar, barman says, 'why the long face and prominent teeth?' Fish says, 'Hey! I'm the guy who does the comedy around here!'

What is it with Liverpool and Man United fans insisting they always win stuff with bairns or on the cheap against all the odds? They're fucking bizarre tbh.

Burnley budget apparently?

The arsenal fans face

All the lads down under need decide which one is going to get a tattoo in honour of poor old Adam not getting to make the trip thus depriving the Aussies and Kiwis the chance of meeting NUFC 's top boy.

I wonder if we'd have been on if we were in 6th spot going into this?

Liverpool are going to have their pipes well and truly drained today by sky. Wolves fans might as well not bother watching it, they'll be completely and utterly ignored.

Just back from Cyprus, absolute disgrace how many businesses were flouting the rules and eating outside unlike us British who had played fair and stuck to the red tape until we finally won our Brexit freedom.

I thought you were in your twenties and would know what to do with embedding links and shit like that?

"It's alright, he'll get to the punchline soon."

"Hirsute? Homosexuals? Bears? C'mon, work with me here!"

ET's his top nark. He gets information through telepathy with the movers and shakers in the transfer market. He's just got to look at a photo of Jamie Rueben and our five year transfer targets are imprinted in his brain. He then spills the beans to Mouth of the Tyne at the area 51 rendezvous point.

@Tom recalls seeing him on a UFO abduction programme and that's all you need to know about him