Howmanheyman

Pleased I gave you a laugh, then. Never heard of him. No, I'm not gay, Rents. Fuck me! Didn't think it was that bad!

Shirley, he didn't think it was real, did he? I must admit I didn't over analyse it. But couldn't imagine the Yanks being happy to be told to fuck off.

I don't watch much telly!!

Asking her (American?) audience to please be quiet. She's just went up a notch in my opinion.

Anyway, they're a pretty strange nation, the Japs.

A lot of Japanese scientists believed they evolved from the Neanerthal and were pretty disappointed whenit was proved they weren't. I saw an evolution programme once and that was the crack.

As a kid I loved the Star Wars films, but I've no interest in the new ones made and have never seen them, never seen the Harry Potter ones and never will and as has been said, am amazed at the amount of people who have never seen The Godfather 1 and 2. There was some great actors in it, a good storyline, very atmospheric, brilliantly shot and anyone who hasn't saw it and gets the chance, then do so.

For some reason that little story reminds of the worst dream I've ever had by a fucking mile. About two years ago I dreamt I was at my late Grannies house in Heaton. My Aunt lived there and had a cat and a dog I loved when I was a kid, I'd kip there and go with my aunt to Heaton Park and Armstrong Park/Jesmond dene when she took it for a walk. Anway, dreams being wierd I was suddenly my own age and as I looked down at the dog I noticed its guts were torn open and it was basically lying down to die and knew it, but the really horrible thing was that from being a dog and looking like a dog, it became my eldest daughter, who was about 6 at the time, I just had to hold her in my arms telling her I loved her. I actually woke up crying and have never before, or since had a dream like it, thank fuck. Absolutely fucking awful. I've had a similar dream to that with the same result. WTF is wrong with our brains to put us through that? Deepest fears perhaps? At the time I was going through a real bad time with the wife and I moved out for a few months, my youngest never really noticed as I'd be round all the time but the eldest picked up on it straight away and was unhappy, this is why I think the dream was about the eldest, maybe it was guilt as I knew she was hurting, I don't know but it was a horrible dream.

For some reason that little story reminds of the worst dream I've ever had by a fucking mile. About two years ago I dreamt I was at my late Grannies house in Heaton. My Aunt lived there and had a cat and a dog I loved when I was a kid, I'd kip there and go with my aunt to Heaton Park and Armstrong Park/Jesmond dene when she took it for a walk. Anway, dreams being wierd I was suddenly my own age and as I looked down at the dog I noticed its guts were torn open and it was basically lying down to die and knew it, but the really horrible thing was that from being a dog and looking like a dog, it became my eldest daughter, who was about 6 at the time, I just had to hold her in my arms telling her I loved her. I actually woke up crying and have never before, or since had a dream like it, thank fuck. Absolutely fucking awful.

'Straw upsets Pakistanis' They need to sleep in a bed then, surely?

Black pudding in a peppercorn sauce. Delicious starter. Not that I'm eating it now, like. Just saying.

I'm a big fan of spunking in your lasses face, too!

Are you always this cryptic, sweetheart?

You're more than likely being sarcy, but NEVER took those two as middle class. The Fish is from near Blyth ffs. It's like being middle class from Gorton. Gemmill grew up in the Far East and had a nanny ffs. I'd class Fish as standard middle class but aggressively aspirational. Meenzer couldn't be working class because he likes cock. I used to think all bufties as Begbie calls them, were middle class till I saw Pete Burns on Big Brother. HMHM "never been a snide at work" unlike 50% of people. I can look myself in the mirror and say I've never rimmed one gaffa ever. I'm a kind of Leading hand on my shift. Basically I sort the job out, tell the lads what we're doing, what I want them to do and have to deal with the dayshift lunatics sometimes referred to as 'staff' or 'managers' and also outside contractors. There's five shifts, and three of us are fine, but one is an old man who hates everyone and slags everyone off, the other is a lad who would sell his granny, his soul and still ask if it was enough, to get on. He cries to the Head of production, writes e-mails and is nice as ninepence on a handover then puts every tiny thing he can in a handover book to justify why he had a shit shift. We could all do the same, it would be very easy if we were all snides, but we're not. I really don't know how the cunt can look at himself in the mirror, it's truly pathetic and these types are the fucking bane of a working life. Who wants to be looked on as a snide? I just don't get that mentality and never will, needless to say the lad is universally loathed even by the lads he works with on shift.

Working class, studied at the University of life and have grafted for everything I've got, never been a snide at work, have always had a decent atitude at work and just get on with it and its paid off as I've a canny enough, (money wise) job. Wife had to pack in work through health issues and am feeling the pinch and they'll be no holiday this year which is fucking me off no end and has sent the missus into a state of depression!!

BBC News: Jo Yeates' body was missing a sock. Police won't confirm whether Heather Mills is helping with their inquiries.

He was canny but, Carlton Cole was AAAAAAAAAAAABSOLUTE SHITE though. It's one of lifes modern mysteries how Liverpool were quoted £20m for him recently. Best scored more goals in a 40 minutes spell last neet than he's scored al season. In the back of my mind everything was tempered by the fact West Ham were shite full stop tbh. We still played very well for all that though. You can only beat what's in front of you that much is true. Can someone settle an argument for me. One of my friends was in Level 4 corner below us last neet. A kid he works with sits in Level 7 further back than me. Now I said to my mate after the match you hear those mugs singing Pardew wonderland? He said no which is fair enough, but if you were in Level 7 you definitely would've heard it. The kid he works with, is calling me a liar, he's a scruffy mug from Washington the kid with long hair, looks like summik off Wayne's World. Not that it needs confirming can someone say they heard this, I had no drink and no drugs I heard it. I'll get them to view this page if someone can confirm it. He was canny but, Carlton Cole was AAAAAAAAAAAABSOLUTE SHITE though. It's one of lifes modern mysteries how Liverpool were quoted £20m for him recently. Best scored more goals in a 40 minutes spell last neet than he's scored al season. In the back of my mind everything was tempered by the fact West Ham were shite full stop tbh. We still played very well for all that though. You can only beat what's in front of you that much is true. Can someone settle an argument for me. One of my friends was in Level 4 corner below us last neet. A kid he works with sits in Level 7 further back than me. Now I said to my mate after the match you hear those mugs singing Pardew wonderland? He said no which is fair enough, but if you were in Level 7 you definitely would've heard it. The kid he works with, is calling me a liar, he's a scruffy mug from Washington the kid with long hair, looks like summik off Wayne's World. Not that it needs confirming can someone say they heard this, I had no drink and no drugs I heard it. I'll get them to view this page if someone can confirm it. I never heard it if they did....and I'm in L7 I never heard it either and I'm up there, they mustn't have my manly shouting voice otherwise people in Gateshead High street would've heard it.

Seen a couple of West Ham fans near the Central station, one was wearing a shellsuit with a baseball cap, the other was all tweeded out with a cap on a la Guy Ritchie.

Of course, captain obvious. My point more was that it would be great to be able to celebrate victories like tonights without having some burning resentment and cynicism putting a dampener on things. I celebrated last night with no burning resentment. I'm sorry, Oz for being a little obvious, but it's pretty obvious you wouldn't have posted your topic on the back of two defeats to Wigan and West Ham. Two wins on the bounce and your question pops up, that is why I was a bit sarcastic, I'm not suggesting you think two wins is enough to forgive him, (obviously), but you seem a bit quick to ask the question. Ashley will need to show me he cares about NUFC for a sustained period for me to even contemplate putting his crassness to one side. That much is obvious. Yours El Capitano Obvious

We've just played the two worst teams in the league. But! We were weakened ourselves so fair play to us for comprehensively outplaying both of them. I just loved Nolan's goal, say what you like but this lad, apart from being a good captain, has a very handy habit of not flapping when the ball lands at his feet anywhere in the box, very Micky Quinn like. Pleased for Best, yes I don't think he's the answer but love to be proved wrong on these occasions, was also great to see the reaction of the other players when he scored, they've a real bond in this squad and it shouldn't be under-estimated.

It'll take more than winning two games on the belt against the two worst sides in the league, mate.

Anyway, Butch Cassidy and Sundance is a belter, and, (I think) Jimbo mentioned Apocolypto which genuinely surprised me when I watched it as I was expecting it to be shit and it was as Jimbo says. Shawshank is a good film made better by Morgan Freemans narrating, you get a lump in your throat when you think he's going to top himself like the old lad once he gets out of jail.

When I was 7 I went to Butlins in Filey, it was 1980, it pissed down the whole time, the place was flooded out, every ride had the theme from the Dambusters on it, snooker was dead popular and my dad was a canny player and wanted a game, but we had to queue round the block to get one poxy game, the pictures they had only had 'Earthquake' and 'Grease' on. I thought that was fairly poor but at least it wasn't Middlesbrough, to be fair.

I like Trainspotting (obvious from my username I guess) but the problem is the film isn't a patch on the book imo. It's still just about as good as it possibly could have been though, if that makes sense. I also prefer the stage version to complicate things. The original lad who played Renton in the play (Ewen Bremner) ended up playing Spud in the film, he must regret not getting the lead. Also Porno will probably never be made now Stevie - iirc Ewan McGregor fell out with Danny Boyle and there was a complete impasse, because it was felt Renton should not be changed. In truth they're all a bit old now to do the film, although the rest of the cast, including Carlyle, really wanted to do it. The prequel book 'Skag boys', should be out soon and might provide an opportunity for a film but I suspect it won't be good as Welsh has gone downhill, again imo. As for three favourite films, no way could I get it down to just three. Anyway, the reason I like some films are more for personal reasons than the actual quality of the films, it's just too difficult and depends on my mood. I agree, watched the film first and loved it, read the book and its a superb read, better than the film by far and Stevie would love it with all the phonetic speech in it.

I always fancy us against West Ham, especially at home but am a bit worried that we can't seem to up our game against very winnable opposition teams, particularly after a decent win. I can't predict this one.