Howmanheyman

Kicked all ower the shop for two decades and not a lot has changed.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! "Straighta outta Compton Hendon Crazy motherfucka called Ice Cube Meerkat From a band called Niggers Mackems wit attitude" You mackem fucking mug. Years of getting the runararound and you come out with this shit?

I remember him giving a glowing tribute to Jackie Milburn and NUFC at Milburns funeral and was impressed with the man's dignity. Obviously never saw him play but there's something romantic about these old fifties players having their tabs at half time and going to the match alongside supporters. RIP.

I think I better expand on this for any mugs who don't know what Stevie is going on about. An Algerian-Frenchman, (looked like a Tunisian) served Stevie some crepes and proceeded to put his finger down his crack and give himself a good scratch thus sickening the watching Stevie who then witnessed other England fans get served with the smelly finger.

Mackems singing 'Jackie is dead' at Roker Park, referring to Milburn and Boro singing through a minutes silence for Joe Harvey at Ayresome Park, both around 1988-89. I should know, I was fucking there! I don't think any mackem should get too excited about us poking fun of a dodgy looking statue because it doesn't bear comparison. Stokoe wasn't just a ex-NUFC player but a NUFC supporter, it's not denigrating him any mackems reading this. (Some of the photos were fucking class by the way, especially liked the Gordon Banks save!) I don't know this Teed from Adam, but if he equates a couple of idiots to the general feeling of most Mags then he's not doing himself any favours in the credibility stakes. The Everton kid is clearly a man on a mission regarding us and needs to get off this board for his own mental health, no...... NO!...... DO NOT click on the 'toontastic' icon on your favourites, there's a good boy.

Fuck off, you daft cunt! "Straight outa Hendon! Crazymotherfucka named Fred the meerkat in a band called mackems wit attitude" What a load of pish Gateshead sound nearly identical to us. Ive got one working for me and I've got to tell him what to do but it's hard as he only speaks incomprehensible gibberish, even for a mackem. No fucker can understand him. It doesn't help that all his teeth look like broken tombstones in Walker graveyard with caramel toffee in the corners of EVERY fucking one. I'm ten years older than him but his teeth look twenty years older than mine.

What was the reason, because I had a conversation with a chimp choker a while back and he gave me an alternative version. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkey_hanger That's the version I've always heard anyway. That's what I thought but was told I was a thick Geordie bastard and that they never actually hanged a monkey because the people of Hartlepool weren't daft. They hanged a young French boy who was a powder monkey. If thats right, the NSPCC would have had a field day whereas the RSCPA would have been moved along, nothing for you here. I don't the true version just passing on what he said.

What was the reason, because I had a conversation with a chimp choker a while back and he gave me an alternative version.

They're inferior to us and it's already got to Steve Bruce with his fucking song. They could beat us four or five times off the belt and I'd still look down at them.

It's a good bit of info for Pardews teamtalk, or for the players to think on.

On a separate note, how lucky are Sky sports news? Everytime they walk past Anfield discussing Liverpool's bad form they always manage to bump into John Aldridge or David Fairclough! How lucky can one news channel get?

I wouldn't know where to begin but here's a daft tame one that tickled me. My mate had just been put through his driving test where he worked and he sometimes had a van at his disposal. Well me, him and another mate went for a drive a few times as it was a novelty and one night my pal slowed down in Scrogg Road next to Walker graveyard and asked an old dear if she knew where DeepThroat Avenue was. He seemed so nice and pleasant as he asked and the old girl was touched by his good manners and all, "Eee, Deepthroat Avenue, hinney? It rings a bell, pet". We were half laughing and half thinking, 'you cunt' to my pal when the old dear says, "Eee, there's our Malcolm, he might know", From nowhere King Kong's older, bigger and nastier looking brother came out of nowhere to help his Auntie give us directions. She got as far as saying "Malcolm, do you know where......." Before we did a the quickest getaway I've ever seen in my life.

Mea Culpa, Pards!

Pleased I gave you a laugh, then. Never heard of him. No, I'm not gay, Rents. Fuck me! Didn't think it was that bad!

Shirley, he didn't think it was real, did he? I must admit I didn't over analyse it. But couldn't imagine the Yanks being happy to be told to fuck off.

I don't watch much telly!!

Asking her (American?) audience to please be quiet. She's just went up a notch in my opinion.

Anyway, they're a pretty strange nation, the Japs.

A lot of Japanese scientists believed they evolved from the Neanerthal and were pretty disappointed whenit was proved they weren't. I saw an evolution programme once and that was the crack.

As a kid I loved the Star Wars films, but I've no interest in the new ones made and have never seen them, never seen the Harry Potter ones and never will and as has been said, am amazed at the amount of people who have never seen The Godfather 1 and 2. There was some great actors in it, a good storyline, very atmospheric, brilliantly shot and anyone who hasn't saw it and gets the chance, then do so.

For some reason that little story reminds of the worst dream I've ever had by a fucking mile. About two years ago I dreamt I was at my late Grannies house in Heaton. My Aunt lived there and had a cat and a dog I loved when I was a kid, I'd kip there and go with my aunt to Heaton Park and Armstrong Park/Jesmond dene when she took it for a walk. Anway, dreams being wierd I was suddenly my own age and as I looked down at the dog I noticed its guts were torn open and it was basically lying down to die and knew it, but the really horrible thing was that from being a dog and looking like a dog, it became my eldest daughter, who was about 6 at the time, I just had to hold her in my arms telling her I loved her. I actually woke up crying and have never before, or since had a dream like it, thank fuck. Absolutely fucking awful. I've had a similar dream to that with the same result. WTF is wrong with our brains to put us through that? Deepest fears perhaps? At the time I was going through a real bad time with the wife and I moved out for a few months, my youngest never really noticed as I'd be round all the time but the eldest picked up on it straight away and was unhappy, this is why I think the dream was about the eldest, maybe it was guilt as I knew she was hurting, I don't know but it was a horrible dream.

For some reason that little story reminds of the worst dream I've ever had by a fucking mile. About two years ago I dreamt I was at my late Grannies house in Heaton. My Aunt lived there and had a cat and a dog I loved when I was a kid, I'd kip there and go with my aunt to Heaton Park and Armstrong Park/Jesmond dene when she took it for a walk. Anway, dreams being wierd I was suddenly my own age and as I looked down at the dog I noticed its guts were torn open and it was basically lying down to die and knew it, but the really horrible thing was that from being a dog and looking like a dog, it became my eldest daughter, who was about 6 at the time, I just had to hold her in my arms telling her I loved her. I actually woke up crying and have never before, or since had a dream like it, thank fuck. Absolutely fucking awful.

'Straw upsets Pakistanis' They need to sleep in a bed then, surely?

Black pudding in a peppercorn sauce. Delicious starter. Not that I'm eating it now, like. Just saying.