Howmanheyman

Barnes can be a great finisher but he's got no engine for a midfielder.

Pope doing his fifty pence foot impression.

Even ciggy blushed at that dive.

We've got one of those refs again.

Not even a fucking minute and we've had a let off, and fucking Alan Smith, the night nurse to put you to sleep on the mic.

The big question is will it be Alan Smith on the mic or Andy Hinchcliffe? The tension is really palpable waiting to find out.

"Here's Jamie talking to Arne Slot in an in-depth interview....." Next week: "Here's Gary Neville talking to Sir Jim Ratcliffe in an in-depth interview....." Next week: "....for the interview involving Dan Burn and Sean Longstaff with a YouTube kid who plays the kids game of 'guess who?' with the players head over to our YouTube channel."

'Free hit' almost always means and ends up 'certain defeat'. Liverpool are just a cunt of a team to play in a final anyway, even when they're shit they pull something out of their arse but at some point both clubs luck in finals has to change and we're going to need it to. Missed the beginning, but just hearing the sky ambassador for Merseyside talking is enough to make my teeth itch.

I think 6th and above gets the £20m fee, don't know if 7th downwards lowers the fee or gets them out of the deal all together? At a few points I noticed Juve players under pressure, particularly Locatelli who could've easily passed to him put stubbornly kept shielding the ball from the Atalanta twisting and turning rather than just passing to an unmarked and available Kelly. Wouldn't surprise me if they make him a scapegoat as they were all shit and I actually felt a bit sorry for the kid at the end. *Saw the missed second goal again and it wasn't anything to do with him but he had a poor game .

0-4! Vlohavic slipping and putting Atalanta on the break, Kelly stands off as lookman scores off him. Juventus look horrific and truly are the Man U of Italy. There'll be Italian lawyers getting calls during the night with faxes of the loan contract between us and juventus which they have to scrutinise for an escape clause.

2-0 to Atalanta thanks to (I think*) a bollock dropped by our lad on loan. Can't speak Italian but I'm hearing his name quite a bit even when he's not on the ball. 3-0 now! he was megged on the third, let's hope that loan to buy is watertight. *I was at the toilet and only caught a glimpse of a replay.

I've missed the first 30 odd minutes but juve are getting beat and Lloyd Kelly is playing.

Sky reporters basically told Joelinton to his face he was shit never mind just pundits

Watching Italian TV's build up to Juventus v Atalanta and tbh you can stick Redknaap, Keane and Dave Jones up your arse....

Man U rare chance.... Neville: "Oooooooh." Me: "Calm down, dear."

Drury: "GARNACHO!!!!" (As pudding bowl heed skies it from 30 yards out).

What a dirty cunt he was as an average player.

Surely it's time for sky to start allocating Alan Smith or Andy Hinchcliffe to do Man United games considering their lowly status? I bet Neville has done more Man U games this season than us, Forest, Bournemouth and villa combined.

Sky pushing the RIVALRY angle between 'United'© and Arsenal like it's 1999. #Prince

(Wasn't sure whether to put this in the funny pictures or the politics thread tbh).

"Carabao cup final next weekend, who's our TV picks this week? Surely it's Liverpool?" "No, we thought they've got a tough game at home to Southampton so we'll leave them alone on Saturday with a 3pm KO." "What about Newcarsull?" "They're away to West Ham so we thought putting them on Monday night's game wouldn't be a problem. Also, gives us a chance to talk in-depth about Liverpool looking good for the title before the game against..... Errr..... God my minds went blank....errr..... Ah yes, West Ham against Newcarsull. Maybe have a little section talking about the clubs most likely to buy Isak in the summer."

CT will see FTM graffiti a lot more than I will so maybe it's sunk into his consciousness?

Whoever it is will probably be a season ticket holder and be at Wembley.