Howmanheyman

Some people buy his patter, though. As for comparing himself to Mourinho? Well he's a few trophies to go before he can do that, (and not just with the likes of a super rich club, he came to Chelsea's attention after winning it with Porto). It was quite amazing the amount of complete and utter cretins, completely out of touch with events at NUFC, who linked our relegation to Ashley sacking Sham. If we'd been mid table when he was sacked and then crashed down the league and got relegated I'd have said they had a point, but we'd had a year of KK after he left and were in at least a better, if not better, position when they fucked KK off. It's bad enough when Joe Public from Essex, (Talksport listener, great show Adrian), thinks Sham's sacking lead to our demise, but when the shyster himself believes it?

Whats he doing with himself? his Lee is grafting with Glen's fatha at the minute I think. Wrong Fraser!

I've put about 4-5 pounds on a week due to getting a new kitchen put in and having a few take-aways/eating out while the kitchen was out of action. Didn't manage any excerise either while this was going on plus I was off work for a week. Christ. Just shows it doesn't take a lot to put weight on, like. Now things are back to (almost) normality that extra weight will have to get shifted, like.

He's looking at some kid from LA he saw kicking a ball around the park. Santiago Muñez I think he's called. Not sure if he's any good, like.

I think my arse would be twitching like a bunny rabbits nose if I was standing near the edge of that court, mind.

Bell helmet's not a bad insult, actually, mincers canny shite.

Ah shaddup man, Gene, you black, muslim, lesbian whore, you!

proper fucking ladgeful!

FYP Here man! 'Here man, fucking radgie!' (To be more acurate.)

There once was a player called Wayne Fereday who played for us, after his first 45 mins I turned round to my mate and said, 'What a fucking player we have here!' I'd lump that comment in with your pals 'golden boot for Ba' as being one that you'd look back on and think, did I really say that?

'Meh'. Where did this come from? And the even worse, 'My bad'. My bad? My bad? What the fuck is this, like? Where in sweet Jesus did this phrase come from and who would utter it without having any kind of embarrasment?

Aye.

They certainly like to muddy the waters, there's no doubt about that, never call a spade a spade unless its to slag someone. By the way, loved the bit where Pardew's got mike and dekka 'telt' about bringing in new players 'NOW'. Fuck off, man, Pardew you fucking plug. Fools nobody bar a few people who want to believe it. This is what Pardew had to say at the time of his appointment. “I represent the fans. I'm an employee of the club, but I'll be knocking on the door trying to get the maximum funds I can to make the club the best it can be” With our net spending standing at minus £37m since he last knocked on that door I’m not sure why he thinks knocking on it again is a good idea. Perhaps he’d be better off jumping off the Redheugh Bridge. Meeting deep in the SJP corridors; Dekka: "So basically thats where we are at the minute. Ok, Mike, I'll speak to you tonight, ......yeah, buddy! haha, good one......ok, bye........What?......Barton? Nah, fack 'im Mike.......yeah, ok, bye Mike, bye.......(puts phone down)........so Alan, any ava business before we wrap this up?" Pards: "I don't suppose we're any further forward on a new player? (gets a stare and a smirk from Dekka) Orite, Del! just asking, hahahaha. I am the fans representitive and all that jazz! Hahahaha........Anyway, Indians or Chinese tonight, really fancy a ruby. I'll say samthin', they can do a good ruby up 'ere."

They certainly like to muddy the waters, there's no doubt about that, never call a spade a spade unless its to slag someone. By the way, loved the bit where Pardew's got mike and dekka 'telt' about bringing in new players 'NOW'. Fuck off, man, Pardew you fucking plug. Fools nobody bar a few people who want to believe it.

The team that dances together, scores together. That's the top and bottom of it, really.

It's my eldest daughters 9th birthday today so I've got a good excuse for not going, a good excuse if I needed one which I do not. £20 for a kickabout? After all thats been going on? 2-1 to the side with more pre-season games under their belt, in front of what would've been 23,053 had it been a nice day, but instead will be 17,348 with many teenagers gutted they can't wear their new top without a coat on.

A Jew, an Arab and a Roman Catholic walk into a bar. Barman says, 'What a fantastic example of a harmonious multi-cultural society'.

I walked past a new restaurant the other day with my wife. As we walked past she commented that food smelled out of this world, so I thought, hang on, I'm a nice bloke, I'll spoil her and give her a treat. So we walked past it again.

Never attempt to force a fart after 8 pints of Guinness and a Mexican Pizza the night before.

Never too late to say goodbye Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down Never can say goodbye Never mind the Bollocks

Aye. Good lad he was. Was talking about you to Fraser/Robbie Fowler the other day. He says, 'That cunt?' Also said "tell him 'alright mate' from me"

Oz on a soapbox and a search for a new striker for NUFC.

Oz getting the wrong end of the stick.

Just because I'm bored and I want a laugh. Put 'em here. 2 mins onwards, Oz sorting out the orders in a German Indian Restuarant for everyone, in a no-nonsense way.

We used to call a lad at school 'pigeon chest'. He hated it. Good job he never came back with 'Pigeon Shoulders' or I'd have been gutted midly amused. I've always been stocky-ish so losing a bit of weight is an ego boost I suppose.