Howmanheyman

Cheers lads.

Sorry for bringing the thread subject back up, but I grew up with these books and as un-PC as they're meant to be they actually gave you a sense of right and wrong and decency. My Dad was in the Armed Forces in the 60's and 70's and they were always lying around NAAFI's and were simply called 'Training Pamphlets'. Anyway, The Nazi's always ended up dead, 'Tojo' got his bait put up him, the one honourable 'Jerry' got his due respect, the one British Cad got his comeuppance and the good old salt of the earth Tommy won the day with his great sense of British fair play. Fantastic stuff.

All the best, mate.

An old drunk walks past a Preacher by a river with his congregation in thrall to him. The Preacher sees the drunk and points at him saying, "You, drunk old man! Are you ready to find Jesus?" The pissed old lad doesn't know what to say but eventually mumbles, "S'pose so, like." At which the Preacher grabs him by the head and 'baptises' him in the river. He says, "My son, have you found Jesus?", The drunk replies, "Err, not sure.", The Preacher not expecting this answer quickly ducks the drunks head back into the river in case any of his flock start to get doubts. "Now, old man......Have you found Jesus?" the Preacher again asks, to which the still confused drunk says, "Err, I don't know". The by now-wishing-he'd-never-bothered Preacher ducks the drunks head in the river once more and shouts in exasperation, "For the love of God! Have you found Jesus yet?" to which the drunk finally snaps and says, "Are you fucking sure he fell in here?"

I'm pleased I didn't move elsewhere. I would never stand all game if someone behind me was sitting down but I know for a fact I wouldn't last long elsewhere if I had a few pints in me and I was surrounded by people who are merely spectators and don't seem to get involved at all. When I say 'involved' I don't just mean singing but the occasional, "HA'WAY LADS! GET FUCKING STUCK INTO THE BASTARDS!" or just a "GO ON!" when we start to go on the attack. It's hardly a so called fucking Uber fan it's just backing your side. There's quite a few thousand people should give it a go.

Forget injuries, a change in the rub of the green would be enough to spell trouble. There was no purpose to our passing in this or any of the games we’ve played this season. We haven’t (with the exception of a short spell against Scunny) put the opposition under and real or sustained pressure.... goals out of nothing are sure to dry up. We were all over them for 20 minutes and scored 2. The difference this season from previous games of this nature is that today we had the ability to score 2 and keep them from equalising. Rode our luck at times but there was nothing lucky or 'out of nothing' about either goal. Both well worked on the back of dominating possession and creating chances. Sounds like you're saying this side is better equipped to win these tight games than we were last year? I'd simply say we came out the better of two very average sides, in fact you could just as easy say Fulham were the better side for at least the first twenty five minutes. We got a lucky rebound for Best's first and credit to him for taking the second well. I'm not convinced at all.

Forget injuries, a change in the rub of the green would be enough to spell trouble. There was no purpose to our passing in this or any of the games we’ve played this season. We haven’t (with the exception of a short spell against Scunny) put the opposition under and real or sustained pressure.... goals out of nothing are sure to dry up. Anyone who thinks we've kicked on from last year, (and I include our 'coach' in this), is living in cloud cuckoo land. I'm pleased they can still get stuck in, etc but today was the third league game in a row we've came up against a side who were equally as toothless up front and these odd goals will end up being consolation goals rather than winners. The defence are going to end up being under huge pressure due to the lack of creativity/goals that'll be scored this year. Am I being harsh?

Over the moon we've done our bogey side at home but we were very, very average. I fear the time when injuries kick in and suspensions because at the minute our team isn't as good as last year despite the double glazing salesman's patter. So, happy but concerned, very concerned. If you can't see it you're blind.

Where abouts you sitting in the ground? (not exact / stalkertastic) Jon hall stand. Got stadium tour tomorrow which I'm looking forward too alot. Honestly mate, no offence but call it by its proper name, 'The Leazes end'. It really is better and you'll get more kudos. sorry Nee bother! A draw at best tomorrow, I'm afraid. History tells you that and a decent start and beating the Mackems means the classic 'after the Lords Mayor show'.

Fair play deadas. Me and you both! I wanted to command a submarine!

Where abouts you sitting in the ground? (not exact / stalkertastic) Jon hall stand. Got stadium tour tomorrow which I'm looking forward too alot. Honestly mate, no offence but call it by its proper name, 'The Leazes end'. It really is better and you'll get more kudos.

Everyone on here should introduce themselves in the syle of The Floaters; "Capricorn, and my name is Stevie, I like a woman who likes a real Geordie man, never pipes doon except under the covers" "Leo, and my name is Deadman, I love a woman I can warm up after I've dug her up"

I take it 'Howeyman' is me? Don't sound a lot like him to be honest, CT, he's a more posher Geordie for the telly and my voice is deeper than his as well. CT Brendan Foster. (on straight away despite the picture of KK) Jedward is Kevin. For some reason, Chezgiven's voice would be; Quentin Wilson

Are you local?

I'd say cricket is like quite a few sports where its canny to play but I just couldn't sit and watch it. Look at snooker. Who wouldn't want to pick up a cue and have a couple of games if you had a free, pristine table and a nice cold pint on your table? However, ask me to watch it and thats a different matter, I'd sooner watch an episode of Emmerdale Farm to be honest.

Beware home games with Fulham!!

Best value? Rob Mcdonald. Not my own personal view but Jim Smith got a new kitchen and a holiday with the backhander he must've got from the agent for signing this duck egg. KK for the long term benefits he brought to the club must be one, also Jackie Milburn would surely be another if you were counting all time players, cost nothing, wouldn't have been mega rich and was a goalscoring legend when we won trophies. David Kelly may have saved the club from wandering around the lower leagues for a few years so you could certainly add him to the list.

So hang on, Obertan is his replacement is he? Hmmmmn..... So. You give away the superior player only to pay £3.25M for his inferior replacement? And this is beneficial to NUFC because...........? Where is Nick from Poland when you want his opinion?

only Tiote and Colo left now CT. Your man's doing just great. Oh Collocini! You made us swoon and sigh! Oh Collocini! Your wage was just too high! Oh Collocini! They want Cheick to go toooo!!

If Barton is away to talk to QPR and goes for free then is anyone on here seriously going to champion that move? So out of our first two games one of our top players who was instrumental in getting us 4 points is going to be allowed to go for nothing. Where's the sense in that? Where's the benefit to NUFC? Is it because he was critical of the regime and they'd sorely love to have his high wages off the bill whether he's an important player or not? If it looks like shit, it smells like shit, it usually is shit. How much evidence does anyone need?

Don't know what what it brings to the debate, but remember our bus driving near Highbury on the day of the Hillsborough disaster and we saw a black Arsenal fan boddy popping in an old fashioned phone box much to everyones amazement and amusement, I don't honestly think I'd seen many genuine blacks at the time and being small minded provincials the whole bus started giving the monkey chants and having a good laugh to which the Arsenal kid laughed back and did this body popping move which ended with him giving us the finger to which he got a roar of laughter and a standing ovation off us. Different times though.

Had a Welsh sports teacher called Tom Jones. Useless bit of info No: 4352

Ahhh! You're Welsh!

There's one by Seaton Sluice that is canny but I can't remember its name and there's a new one opened in Station Road in Wallsend called 'Frydays' which has on my 4 visits so far been top notch, just as good as the new Gormans in Byker. Mind there's some very average ones about.